Free

I'm finally getting back in the habit of blogging! With school and just life in general being crazy the last month, I haven't had time to do much of anything. Anywho, I'm finally done with the semester!! This semester was a weird mix of classes. I had my Child and Family Studies classes such as Family Life Education, Theories of Family Development, and Family Financial Management, then I had Neuroscience and also Christian Ethics for my religion minor. I absolutely LOVED my Child and Family classes. I love the professors, the content, and the students in my class. Neuroscience? Not so much. That class was so incredibly frustrating. It was team taught so there were 4 professors, 1 of which was not a very nice man. Lastly, Christian ethics was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I have to admit, by the end of the semester, I had learned a lot and I loved going to the class and discussing Christian Ethics. However, I figured out that I like an answer to things. When I ask a question, I don't want to hear what Aquinas would say about it and then what Bonhoeffer would say about it; I want to know an answer. Anyways, looking back on the semester, it was a great one. It was hard and frustrating and I definitely had a meltdown or two, but we live and learn right?

As most of you know, my grandpa has been in the hospital for quite some time now. He fell and broke three ribs and then things kept piling up and getting worse. BUT, he's doing so much better now and God willing, he'll be home by Christmas Eve. During this time, I've seen a lot of things. I've seen how much a church family can support someone in their time of need. I've seen how God answers prayers. I've seen how a hospital staff can become a family to the patient. I've seen how my grandfather simply adores my grandmother. By this point, I think everyone in the hospital knows the story of how they met, fell in love and got married. Cutest thing ever.

Also over the past week I've seen people change. I've seen fear struck into American citizens and it makes me so so so sad. The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary makes my heart heavy. I pray for the families that lost children and parents. I pray for the elected officials. I pray for the children that survived the shooting and lastly, I pray for our country. Even though I do realize how devastating this event was and how big of an impact it has had on us, I do not live in fear. I do not fear my fellow Americans. I do not fear crowded public places. And lastly, I do not fear our government. Hebrews 13:6 states. "So that we may boldly say, the Lord is my helper and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." My hope and trust is in Christ and no one else. 

Proven Wrong

Alright guys, I'm blogging for the first time in a month but don't get too excited. Seeing as I have a final in 2 hours, this blog is going to be quite short. However, there's just something I wanna say. 

I'm not proud of it, but I'm one of those people who doesn't like to be wrong. I'll admit that I'm wrong, but I don't like it. However, in this situation, I'm wrong and I couldn't be more happy about it. 

Whenever I'm stressed and upset about things, I tend for forget just how big God is. Call it lack of faith, but when things are looking no bueno and I don't have control over it, I get really frustrated. Over the past month or so, I kept getting discouraged with certain things. My grades aren't where I would like them to be, my grandpa has been in the hospital for over a month now, and some other things have happened that have been so nerve racking and frustrating. A little over 12 hours ago, I was panicking to the point of tears about my grades and finals, my grandpa was having a lot of problems in the hospital, and I was just tired of it. Now, I look back over the past 12 hours and I can see how God provides for and takes care of His children. I did way better than I could've ever imagined on my test, my grandpa has gotten WAY better and I'm proven wrong. I forget how big my God is. I forget how He can provide for us and how He can hold us in His arms and take care of things that we can't take care of. 

There's no possible way to have control over everything in our lives, so why not hand that control over to a God that can provide?

Frustrated

I'm super frustrated with people right now. Most people on my Facebook are frustrated because Obama just got reelected. That isn't what I'm frustrated about. I'm frustrated with people. I'm frustrated with hate. I figure I can rant on my blog and I can get away with it. Yall have a choice at whether you read it or not so I'm gonna type what I think.

1. This is America. Have pride in that, people! Do you understand how great our country is? It doesn't matter who is in office(unless it's a drastic, killing, tyrant of course), you need to stick with your country. Stay loyal to the United States of America. Just because you don't agree with who is in office, you threaten to leave to a different country. What good will that do? Will you prove a point by moving? No.

2. It is NEVER okay to wish death upon someone. I don't care if you hate Obama, it is awful, sick, and disgusting to wish that he gets assassinated. Not even just Obama, it's awful to wish that anyone gets assassinated. Personally, I think that is one of worst things someone can think about someone else. You should never wish death upon someone because of the political office they hold.

3. Have faith in Christ, not in our government. In my opinion, getting soooooo worked up about who is president shows lack of faith in our all powerful God. Christ will take care of us. Who are we to not agree with His plan? 

I saw this on Facebook and I really like it. Things like this stand out among all the arguing. "God has been the one to supply all our needs. He has given all of us the ability to work hard and to take care of our families, it is not up to the government to do that. So keep your eyes on Jesus, draw close to Him and be diligent about handling your finances correctly and God will watch over all our needs."

As Christians, we need to pray for whoever is in office, whether you want them there or not. Pray for them to have wisdom, discernment, and for Christ to guide them. Regardless of who is in office, don't stop praying.

Brothers

Today is my brother Joey's 26th birthday. It slightly freaks me out that he's 26 but then I remember that I'm 20 so that does actually add up. Joey has always been a great older brother. Sure, he picked on me when I was little, but it was the type of teasing that big brothers are supposed to do to their little sisters. In honor of his birthday, I decided to tell yall about some things that Joey told me over the years that I, being a naive little girl, believed because my older and wiser brother told me they were true. 

1. Joey convinced me when I was younger that I was adopted from the Cabbage Patch Kids. Maybe this is why I'm so interested in adoption now? Who knows. At the time, I could barely read. I had a birth certificate from one of my cabbage patch kid dolls. On the certificate, it had my name because I was the adoptive "parent." All I could really read was my name, "birth" and "Cabbage Patch Kids." I completely believed that I was adopted from the creepy Cabbage Patch Kids. He's lucky I turned out reasonably normal.

2. Joey also told me that whenever cows and horses were laying down on the ground, it meant they were going to die. Don't judge, but I believed this one WAY longer than I should have. He told me that since they were laying down, they wouldn't be able to get back up and therefore wouldn't be able to get to any food or water source. So if they were laying down, the end of their life was not far away. I vividly remember looking out the car window and seeing cows and horses in the fields laying down and being so sad for them! Those poor things were about to die!!!

Feel free to pay for my counseling whenever you would like.

3. I think out of everything Joey told me, this one was one of the most morbid ones. In Corpus, there is a statue of 2 people washing a car. I'm not sure what it's actually for, but it's been there as long as I can remember. One day while we were in Corpus, I decided to ask about it. Joey told me that two people had been washing their car in the parking lot and a plane flew over and dropped cement on them and they were trapped. Isn't that awful?! I seriously thought that there were actual humans trapped in that cement!

There are definitely more things that my loving brother told me over the years. There's probably still some things I believe because he told me. Maybe he was just trying to keep me young and naive as long as he could? While writing this, it makes me smile. It makes me happy to think that even though my brother is 6 years older than me, he still played with me and talked to me all the time. I'm sure I was annoying at times when I was younger so I probably deserved some of these stories, but they give me funny times to look back on. So happy 26th birthday Joey! I couldn't ask for a better brother.

Blessed

Everytime I go home for a few days, I realize just how blessed I really am. I've always appreciated the awesome things in my life, but it seems that when I'm home, everything is magnified. It's probably because now that I'm in Waco, I see how important these things really are to me. There are a few things I noticed this trip that I love with all my heart and some things I dislike. 

Things I love

1. My group of 2nd Mommies

I have a group of ladies that I absolutely adore. They are all Christ loving women that I love being around. This last trip home, I got to spend a lot of time around them and it made me so thankful for all them. Some of these ladies have known me literally all my life and a few of them I've gotten to know over the past few years. It's so comforting to know that I can call any of them and they'll be there for me to talk to. It's just so great to know that they're all back home praying for me and supporting me in all my endeavors. 

2. FBC Rockport's dedication to missions

This month, the church is focusing on mission work. Ever since I went to Honduras about a year and half ago, it's been brought to my attention how important mission trips are. I urge every Christian to do some time of mission work. Whether it's something local or something international; it's sooooo important. The Sunday I was home, we had a few people talk about their experience with missions and it's so encouraging to know that people in the church have a heart for sharing Christ with the world.  Going along with that, I'm officially going back to Honduras over Spring Break and I couldn't be more excited about it!!

3. Small town vibe

If you know me at all, you know I'm a small town girl at heart. I absolutely love it. While I was home, I ran into someone I knew literally every place I went and it made me SO happy. I know some people love big cities where they can blend in with everyone and do their own thing. Not me. I love seeing people that I know everywhere I go in town. 

Things I dislike

1. Humidity

Growing up, I never had a problem with the 200% humidity that Rockport experiences. My hair was never frizzy and it had no problem staying straight, I didn't think it was extra hot, and my skin was never oily. Now that I'm up here in the "dry" land, I can't handle humidity! I go home and my hair frizzes and won't stay straight, for the first day I'm there, I can't cool down, and my skin gets so oily. It's like 18 years is completely cancelled out by a year and a half. It's funny because people in Waco will mention how humid it is and I'm just like "ummmm no, you don't even know humid. This is stinkin dry." 

2. Baylor Defense

I guess I should say Baylor's lack of defense. Our football team is driving me crazy this season. I think it's mainly just because I was spoiled my freshman year with RG3 and his awesomeness so now that's what I'm used to. Our offense is pretty decent this year, but with no defense, it's killing us. Games we should be winning, we lose by a small margin. Plus all the scores of our games are crazy high basketball-like scores. If we had a defense at all, we would easily win. 

I think if the only things I can complain about are humidity and football, then I'm a pretty blessed person! 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

God's grace never ceases to amaze me. After I stopped doing the internship, I was doubting whether or not I was actually called to family ministries. I thought that what I had in my head wasn't really family ministries and what I wanted to do in the church wasn't really an actual job. I feel like I'm called to work with the family unit, but especially with parents. So on Thursday, I met with a minister out at First Baptist Woodway (the church I've been going to in the Wack) for a paper I had to write for a class. After talking with the guy for about 30 seconds, I knew that I wanted his job. I guess not his job but I absolutely loved what he did and I didn't even know it was an actual position! His official title is Minister of Discipleship and Young Married Couples. He works with nearlyweds up to about 45 year olds. He arranges parenting classes, family retreats, financial management classes, etc. It's pretty much family ministries but working a lot with the parents, which is exactly what I wanna do!! It was just really encouraging to know that what I want to do is an actual job because I was starting to think it wasn't.

Complete change of subject. Before you start reading, there is a disclaimer. I don't talk about politics. I avoid the subject as much as possible. The following paragraph is neutral as to who I want to be the next president. That's not the issue on my heart lately.

Honestly, I'm tired of seeing political garbage on Facebook. But here's the thing, it's not the politics that I'm tired of seeing. It's the hateful, rude, and nasty conversations that I see between people on Facebook that really get to me. Think about it, do we really think that telling someone that their opinion is wrong and that they're an idiot is going to change their political views? Of course not. As Christians, we are called to a higher standard. We are supposed to represent the image of Christ in everything that we do. Our love is supposed to show Christ's love. Also, our identity should be in Christ; not for who we want to be our next president. Our hope should be in Jesus regardless of who our political leaders are. Yes, I understand standing up for what you believe in, but there's a line that we shouldn't cross. A line that nobody should cross  regardless of what their religious beliefs are. It all just comes down to having respect for the person you're talking to. There's absolutely no need to personally attack a person in a public place because of what they believe. That being said, if I offended you with this, please please please don't comment on my Facebook about it and make it a public ordeal. Message me, that's totally fine; I even encourage you too.

I also encourage you to read THIS article, I think it has some really good things to say.

Enough serious business.

I'LL BE HOME IN LESS THAN A WEEK!! I'm definitely ready for some time off of school. It's pretty nice to have a fall break, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not exactly sure what day I'll be home, but I'll at least have 3 days in Rockport which will be sooooo nice!

Lovin this song right now.

Direction

Remember that internship I mentioned a few posts back? Turns out it wasn't the place I needed to be at. For the past 4ish years, I was planning on going into Family Ministries after college. This awesome opportunity fell into my hands and I was so excited and just took it. The thing is, the internship wasn't right for me. Which I hate to say, because it was such a great opportunity and it was such a great program. I feel like I'm called to work with the family unit as a whole and specifically with parents. Don't get me wrong, I love working with kids. However, as a career, I feel called to work not just with children, but with the whole family.

That being said, I'm not positive about what I'm going to do after college other than go to seminary. I know I am called to work in Christian Ministry but I don't know what specific part of ministry. I don't know whether I'll work in a church setting or out in mission work. I don't know what I'm going to do. However, I'm not worried about it. Did you hear that, people!? I'm not worried about! It hit me last night that this is the first time in my life that I don't have an exact plan for something and I'm not completely freaked out by it! Now, I know what some of you are thinking. I know what some of yall are saying, "well that's lack of direction. She's in college and she has no clue what she's doing with her life? No bueno." Yall probably don't say no bueno though, huh? I don't think it's lack of direction, though. I think it's faith. I DO know what I'm doing with my life. I'm following Christ and I'm trusting that He'll guide me.

Does this mean that I'm just going to sit here stagnant all of college cause I know God's got this? Heck no. But I know that as I work in different ministries and feel each of them out, that I'm not alone in it. God will lead me to where I need to be in the long run anyways. I'm not worried about it and few things could make me more happy. 

Fun Facts

So this is more of a way out for me. I've had no idea what to blog about lately so this gives me a way of blogging so yall know I'm alive, but not really having to find something to talk about. Trust me, it's better this way. Had I thought of something, it probably would've made yall ridiculously bored. So I'm gonna tell yall 15 things that most people don't know about me.

1. When I was little, I told my parents I wanted to be a hamburger. Don't ask me why. 

But don't worry, I don't still want to be a hamburger; that's not a major at Baylor.

2. I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others. I have to consciously tell myself not to do it at times.

3. I watched the movie Psycho when I was little and I didn't shower for like 5 years. I only took bathes and I still get a little paranoid when I'm showering in a hotel. 

4. I watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and I'm not ashamed at all.

5. It doesn't take much to make me laugh. Everyone once in awhile Briana will just randomly throw out words to see if they make me laugh. They usually do. 

6. It takes a lot to get me actually stressed out. When I do finally hit that point, it really bothers me that I can't handle it.

7. It really bothers me when people don't like me. If I ever did something to offend them, I try my best to fix it. But it reallllllly bothers me when they dislike me for no reason.

8. I hate hate hate Chuck Norris jokes with a passion. They really annoy me for some reason.

9. I'm OCD about locking doors. I think I do it without thinking about it so I don't remember actually locking the door. For instance, I'll leave the house, then get in my car and think, "hmmmm did I lock the door?" So I'll go back and check. Guess what? It's always locked. 

10. God gave me a heart for helping others. I want to spend my life make other lives better. 

11. I'm a major Facebook creep to the point where I don't even want to admit this to yall. I could get paid to find things out about people through Facebook

12. I read the Left Behind series when I was about 13 and it scared the crud outta me. I would sit up at night waiting for the clock to get past midnight so I knew that Jesus didn't come back and I got left behind. It's silly when I think about it now for a few reasons. First, just because He came at midnight in the book doesn't mean that's when He would come in real life. Also, if I was SO sure that He was coming back, why was I worried about being left behind?  Lastly, it's Jesus for cryin out loud! It'd be stinkin awesome if He came back!

13. When I was 14, I drove my moms brand new car through our carport. She was letting me drive in the driveway and as we pulled in, I accidentally pressed the gas instead of the brake. There's pictures if you're really interested but it was pretty terrifying. 

14. I have high standards for my future spouse. I don't think they're ridiculous things and I have no doubt that I'll find a guy that meets those standards.

15. I love driving. If gas prices weren't so stinkin high, I would get in the car and just drive somewhere. 

Hopefully you learned something about me that you didn't know before. If not, I sincerely apologize haha. Also, if you have an idea of what I should blog about, please share! As you can tell, I'm running out of ideas.

This video cracks me up. Poor girl!

Long Days

Yes, I'm still alive. School has kept me crazy busy lately. I have my first test on Friday which is scaring the crud outta me. Oh well. I feel like these weeks are so stinkin long. I miss home. I miss my mom and dad. I miss Rockport. I miss my church family. Is this sounding a little pathetic? Probably so. I do love Baylor, don't get me wrong. I love going to school here, I love the people, and I love the opportunities that I've been given lately. But I still miss home. I hate not being able to be there for friends that are still in Rockport. I hate missing out on family gatherings. I hate missing out on church events. I'll be home September 21st for Hollies babyshower (SO EXCITED) and for my birthday so I'm definitely looking forward to that. Even though I haven't been home in a month, I absolutely love that I still have my support system back home. I love that I can text a few people and say "hey, I need your opinion on this. I need your prayer with this" and I know they'll have my back. I'm taking a Christian Ethics class this semester and I'm also working in a church(more on that later) so there's a lot of ministry/religion questions that I think of. I'm so thankful that I can text/email Scott (FBC rockport pastor in case you weren't aware) and just spew my brain out and he'll try to sort out my nonsense out and then answer my questions. I'm realizing that things are changing; it's inevitable. I'm to the point where I have to leave  where I'm comfortable and step into new opportunities. Even though things are changing, people that love me aren't going to leave me. They aren't going to stop supporting me. They aren't going to stop praying for me.

Now back to working at a church. I had a professor email me about 2 weeks ago saying that someone had emailed her about a position opening up at a church here in town and she immediately thought of me. I went through a couple of interviews and as of now, I'm in a trial run for the childrens/family ministry intern! I haven't officially been hired on, but after a week or so of shadowing the children's minister and seeing what the internship entails and we make sure it's a good fit, I'll be hired on! I'm super excited about this opportunity and working with family ministries. Along that note, I feel like I'm being called to work with ministries out in the city of Waco. I've been talking to someone and I'm hoping to start working with a ministry called Jesus Said Love. Jesus Said Love is a group of women that reach out to strippers in Waco and just love on them. I'm super excited about working with the ministry! Check it out here.

I might have already posted this song, but I just love it. Listen to it!

Some prayer requests:
1. My friend Brandal had surgery Friday to remove some cancerous tumors. If you've ever met this guy, you know he's a fighter and he's such an awesome guy. The surgery went fine but now he's recovering so keep him in your prayers.
2. My friend Stratton is having surgery Monday morning on his knee. I've know Stratton literally my whole life and he's on of the most genuinely nice guys I know and he's one of the most Christ-like guys my age that I know. Anyways, keep him in your prayers for a smooth surgery and fast recovery. 

Restoration and Frustration

Everyone always talks about how evil our society is and how selfish people are. Think about it. How many times a day do you come in contact with someone and think,"Man, they were really rude" or "Seriously lady? You're gonna treat me like that?" Everyone once in awhile, I come in contact with people that restore my faith in humanity. Let me make this clear though, I don't think humanity is evil. Are there people that are awful? Sure. But overall, I have hope for mankind. This past week, I had 2 separate experiences that made me so stinkin happy. First off, I had been having problems with my phone. The battery only lasted about an hour and then it wouldn't charge. I went to the Sprint store here in town and was definitely frustrated. A super nice guy helped me out and told me my phone would be ready in a couple hours and it would be fixed(for a small fee). So I come back, pick up my phone and thank the nice guy for solving my problem. I go home and plug it in. Guess what. It won't charge. So annoying! I head back to the Sprint store for the 3rd time that day. I walk in and head straight for the guy that helped me the last two times. I tell him it STILL isn't charging. He suggests that maybe it's my charger but I had tried it on multiple chargers. So he takes it over to his own charger and plugs it in. I tell him, "If that phone starts charging, I might cry." "Do you want me to get you some tissues?" he says in a joking matter. Of course it would charge on his charger and not on me. Then he says, "look, just take this charger so you don't have to buy a new one." "Seriously? Just take it?" I say to him. "Yea, you can just have it. No charge. You have a great day and Sic em Bears." He just came me his charger! Granted, it's just a charger. But still, it saved me 30 bucks! Made me happy that he was so nice!

Fast forward 2 days.

I drop my car off for an oil change and inspection. About 30 minutes after dropping it off, I get a call saying my car was rejected. My car does not get rejected, people! Apparently, a car can't pass inspection if there's condensation in the headlight. *sidenote* every mechanic I've talked to since then, has said this was bogus. So here it is, 9 days before my inspection sticker expires and I'm told that the only way to be street legal in 9 days is to pay 493 to replaces the whole fixture. Well that's a sticky situation. It just so happened that Briana's car was at a different mechanic in town getting some work done and she needed to pick her car up. These guys have always been super nice to her so I figured I would ask them what they thought. Long story somewhat short, they fixed my light so I could pass inspection and you know how much it cost. NOTHING!  I had 4 guys working on my car to fix it and then told me that they weren't going to charge me. They saved me 500 dollars! It just makes me so happy when people are so nice like that. Makes me realize that despite what everyone says, there are still good people out there.

In case you weren't aware, college is hard. I decided last semester that I was going to take Greek for my foreign language. When I got to class on Monday, we hit the ground running. I was doing 3-4 hours of Greek homework everyday. After lots of  consideration, I decided to drop the class. Actually, I haven't dropped it yet, but I am in the morning. I knew that once the semester got going, I wasn't going to be able to keep up with 4 hours of Greek everyday plus all my other classes. I absolutely hate hate hate that I'm having to drop the class. It frustrates me to no end that I'm having to give up on Greek. But God has a plan right?

Listen to this song, it's pretty great. 

Growing Up

I've hit that point where I feel grown up. It kinda freaks me out a little bit. I thought I felt it last year when I started college, but now that I'm in an apartment, I definitely feel it. I'm almost 20 for cryin out loud! It also kinda hit me today when I was in one of my classes and I looked around and saw about 4 girls with engagement/wedding rings on. Granted, it was an upper level class so everyone was at least one year older than me, but still.

So I started classes this week and I'm still not sure what I think about it. Being the nerd I am, I was secretly excited for classes to start. Then Monday hit and I was trying to figure out why I was ever excited. This semester I'm taking Greek, Neuroscience, Individual and Family Financial Planning, Christian Ethics, and Family Theory. I have 4 classes on MWF and only 1 on Tuesday and Thursday. For most classes, the first day of class is always used to go over the syllabus and get to the know the professors. For Greek, this couldn't be more opposite. Within the first 2 minutes, we were learning the alphabet and it went full speed for the next 48 minutes. We have a quiz the next two class periods and I had about 3 hours of Greek homework yesterday afternoon. All my professors seems nice and welcoming, but honestly, most of them at Baylor are. I'm still slightly scared of my Christian Ethics class. I figured out that across all sections of Christian Ethics, I'm one of two Sophomores and the rest are Juniors or Seniors. When my professor mentioned this he looked at me and said, "Thats umm.....brave, for lack of a better word." Awesome. Thanks for that encouragement buddy.  Overall, this semester is going to be hard. Very interesting, but hard.

I totally forgot to tell yall about this dream I had a few weeks back. It FREAKED me out. It was one of those dreams where I woke up almost in tears. I was back in Rockport and I was with some people that decided they were going to go shoplifting at a clothing store in town. I decided to go with them because they said they had plan where we wouldn't get caught. After staying the store all day trying to find the right moment, the store was closing soon. I decided it was now or never so I grabbed a pair of shoes and ran out the door. A store employee caught me and called the police. I was already sobbing because I kept thinking of all the people that would be so disappointed in me. The cop shows up and it's one of my friend's dad who also happens to go to my church. He loads me in the car then lets me have it. "Erin, do you know how many people are going to be disappointed in you? Think about your parents. Think about how they're going feel. What about your church family? They aren't going to look at you the same. They won't let you back in the church Erin. You won't be able to go back to Baylor. You ruined yourself." It was AWFUL. Apparently, he had called my parents in the car because they were already at the jail when we got there. I come out and walk up to them and my dad won't even look at me. My mom says, "Why did you do this? You've never done anything like this, I don't understand." I say, "I know Mom, I messed up, I'm so so sorry. Dad, look at me." Still with his head down, my dad says, "I can't Erin. I'm so disappointed in you. I can't believe you would do this." So I say, "Dad, you're supposed to love me no matter what." He says, "Well right now, I don't know if I can." IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! So I get my stuff and get ready to leave with them when my mom says, "I don't know what you think you're doing. You're staying here. We aren't bailing you out." I was so mad at them. They leave and then I get my one phone call so I call Jessica Robbins to come get me. I tell her what happened and she says, "Erin, I can't come get you. I  have to respect your parent's decision, I'm sorry. Then I woke up.

Yall, it was one of the worst dreams I've ever had. It was so real that I woke up and felt the need to apologize to the people closest to me. I went to church that Sunday and felt like people knew I had done something, when I hadn't even done anything! The feeling of those people that disappointed in me was horrible. If I ever wanted to do something like that, all I have to do is think about that dream and remember that feeling of everyone being so disappointed in me. It was horrible.

Now to eat some lunch and do some homework. But first, listen to this song. It's awesome.

Speak the Truth

Even though I only moved into my apartment a week ago, I'm back home until Sunday. I met up with a group of people from church for a relaxing few days at the river and I had a blast. We had 12 people there and we just hung out on the river, played a lot of cards, and loved on Jesus. It was such a great way to end the summer. While I was at the river and even leading up to the trip, some things had been in my mind a lot. I've always struggled with fear. Fear of future plans, fear of the unknown, and even fear of fear. It's been something I've had to surrender daily. This time, it's a different fear. It's a fear that makes me reconsider things and reprioritize some things.

First off, I've been thinking a lot about the things I worship and cherish. I love my family and my church family more than anything. But it shouldn't be like that. If God took my family away from me, I wouldn't be okay. I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. Shouldn't Christ be all I need? Shouldn't He be enough to fulfill everything in my life? This scares me. It scares me that I put things above Christ and it scares me that Christ might take something along these lines away from me and I'll be completely lost. I know it's something that I'll have to work on. Like someone at the river said this week, I "have to take my family off that altar and put Christ in its place." They also pointed out to me that even though I love my family  now, when I put Christ ahead of them I'll be able to love them even more and even deeper than before.

The next thing that hit me was that I really need to start paying attention to the lyrics of the songs I'm worshiping to. If I'm singing something that I'm not whole heartedly trusting in, should I even be singing it? I should be afraid to be singing lyrics I'm not completely sure about. If I'm singing something, I need to be ready for God to throw something at me to test it out. Take a look at these 2 sets of lyrics.

To you our hearts are open

nothing here is hidden

you are our one desire.

you only are holy

you only are worthy

My foes are many

They rise against me

But I will hold my ground

I will not fear the war

I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way

My help is on the way

Oh, my God

He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear

His promise is true

My God will come through always

Always

If I had to live that out, could I? Is He my one and only desire? I don't know if I can honestly say that this point that He is the only thing I need. If everyone in my life was fighting against me, would I find refuge in God and not fear the storm? It'd be hard for me. It's something that I need to get right with or just need to stop singing. I wanna sing these words and I want to be fine with just Christ as my one desire so I'm gonna work on it. 

On a lighter note, I had a blast at the river. One day our 4 hour float turned out to be an 8 hour float and I was pretty sure my body was just gonna quit moving. As exhausting as that day was, i wouldn't trade it. We all got closer as a group and God is definitely doing some awesome things in all of our lives. 

Back to the Wack

Summer is officially over for me as I head back to Waco tomorrow morning. I'm pumped to finally be living in an apartment with Briana but I'm definitely dreading moving in. Since I leave tomorrow at the crack of dawn, I really should be packing. I figured I've been packing for the last 24 hours, I can take some time off. It seems like this summer has gone by crazy fast. Despite that, I've learned a few things.

1. It's imperative to have Christian friends. You have to have friends that you can call up and just be like "hey I need prayer. I'm struggling with this and I can't handle it alone." I've also realized that God removes friendships that aren't healthy for you to be in. When He takes those friends out of your life, He puts new and amazing friendships back in. 

2. I'm a master at making chocolate chip pancakes. Every once in awhile I would make chocolate chip pancakes for the kids I nanny for. Not to brag or anything, but they were pretty awesome. There was even talk that they wanted to eat them for every meal. It was a sad day in the house when we ran out of chocolate chips.

3. I absolutely love working with kids of all ages. I was a nanny for a 4 year old, 8 year old, and 12 year old. Along with that, I went to camp with middle schoolers. With every age group, there's different things I love. This summer just reaffirmed that I'm in the right field of study.

4. God has plans for my life that are way better than my own plans. At the start of the summer, I had plans. I love plans and mine included summer school, working, and just enjoying summer. Almost immediately, I knew the summer thing was not going to work out. Del Mar was a pain to work with and made it impossible for me to take classes. Then, I couldn't find a job. I spent hours driving around town dropping off my resume everywhere I could think of. Many different times I thought I had found something, got all excited, then it fell through. After many weeks, resumes, and tears, I got a call from a family in town. They needed a nanny. It was definitely an answer to prayer and I absolutely loved working with the kids. 

I'm excited about this upcoming semester and I'm super excited about having an apartment. Also, please please please keep my friend Stratton in your prayers. He was playing in a basketball game last night and most likely tore his ACL and MCL. He's already signed to play basketball with Dallas Baptist in the upcoming school year. It makes me sick to see him injured like this. Pray for healing and for God's will in this whole situation. 

Highland Journey 3

I already know it's going to be hard for me to put youth camp into words. About a month ago, Hollie asked me to be a leader at the middle school camp. Automatically, I said "well sure! That sounds like a blast!" Almost immediately after, I was FREAKING out. I would be in charge of 16 middle school girls?! That is a lot of girls! I've always been one to work with little kids and I tried my hardest to stay away from middle schoolers. They're intimidating. Then, I started to worry not about them, but about me. How am I going to be able to talk with them about Christ? I know during worship they're gonna come to me crying and I'll have no clue what to say. So I started praying. By the time the bus pulled out of the parking lot Monday morning, I was PUMPED. 

I went into camp knowing only about 5 of the girls really well. Thankfully, we got the cabin all to ourselves so we could have some real talk whenever we wanted to. Camp started out with lots of rain, thunder, and lightning. The students were stuck in an auditorium for about 3 hours. However, when it came time for church time that night, I was asking the girls what their favorite part of the day was. Here's the part that completely floored me. They said that they liked being stuck inside all day and not being able to do the banana boats or zipline. They all confessed that they were so focused on that stuff that they forgot about why they were really at camp. Can you believe that 13 and 14 year old said that? They blew me away. 

The speaker at camp was absolutely phenomenal. His name is Scott Venable. A year ago, he felt that God was calling him to start a church in Chicago. I didn't realize this but Chicago is technically an unreached people group. How crazy is that? Only 3% of the city is Christian. This guy was not afraid to tell it like it is. He preached the gospel without holding back. Check out his church here:  http://mosaicchicago.org/

The band was also pretty awesome. It's a band called Theophany out of Austin. They had a good mix of their own songs and popular songs right now that everyone already knew. You can check them out here:http://theophanyworship.org/ Be sure to look at the song Look What We've Become.  

I also got to pray with some girls on the first night that I knew absolutely nothing about. I was able to talk with them, encourage them, and tell them about Christ. After we were finished, I was completely stoked. Nothing that I said came from me. I know for a fact that Christ was using me to speak to these girls. At camp, I learned that the things these kids are thinking about their relationship with Christ is totally above anything I would've thought about when I was 14. These kids are wanting to live in Christ, not just for Christ. It makes me soooo excited for what God has in store for them. 

All of these girls seriously stole my heart. I woke up Saturday morning and missed them! I couldn't wait to see them at church on Sunday just so I could talk with them some more and give them a big hug. We all laughed together, cried together, and spent hours talking to each other every day. We formed Godly friendships that will last and we all grew in Christ together. 

Honduras

I can't believe that exactly one year ago, I was in Honduras. It seems like so long ago but I also can't believe it's already been a year. I sometimes forget all the valuable lessons I learned while I was in Honduras. Every once in awhile, I stop what I'm doing and go back and read some of the things I wrote about right when I got back from Honduras. I need a daily reminder of how that week changed my life. Going to Honduras gave me a sense of urgency in spreading God's word to the world. I know that I'm called to share Christ to everyone on a daily basis. The thing I remember most about Honduras is the children that we met at the school in La Canada and at Destino. These children were the most loving and joyful children that I've ever met in my life. The children at La Canada literally had next to nothing, yet if they were given anything, they wanted to give it away to someone else. I remember being overwhelmed the first day we met those children because I wanted to give them everything I had. I wanted to hand over my money to them. I soon realized that they don't need the money or the possessions. They were so happy and joyful because they knew Christ; that's all they needed. The hardest part of the trip was leaving that school on Wednesday and having to tell the children that we would not be back on Thursday. I also loved being at Destino which is a children's home in Honduras. This place is literally a little piece of heaven among complete poverty. The scenery is gorgeous, the kids are precious, and the people running it are Christ-centered people. I would do anything to go back there and see all of the children just one more time. 

The mission trip to Honduras was also so impacting to me because of the group that we had. I honestly could not have asked for a better group of people to share that experience with. Now, even a year later, I'm still growing closer to the people that went to Honduras.

Just reliving my trip to Honduras makes my heart ache to go back! That week was one of the most heart changing, draining, and exciting weeks of my life. It put me out of my comfort zone some, but I think God calls us to go out of that zone. If any of you get a chance to go on a mission trip, I urge you to do it. It is such an eye opening experience. 

Precious cornerstone, sure foundation
You are faithful to the end
We are waiting, on You, Jesus
We believe You're all to us

Let the glory of Your name be the passion of the Church
Let the righteousness of God be a holy flame that burns
Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives
We believe You're all to us

Only Son of God sent from Heaven
Hope and mercy at the cross
You are everything, You're the Promise
Jesus, You are all to us

You're all to us
You're all to us
You're all to us
Yes, You are

When this passing world is over
We will see You face to face
And forever we will worship
Jesus, You are all to us

I was listening to this song today while I was driving and the chorus of the song( in bold and underlined) hit me like a ton of bricks. In a good way. Look at those lyrics. I can't get enough of them. So often, the church gets caught up in so many other things. In reality, the glory of God should be our passion. I think people don't understand how much the word "passion" entails. Christians should be on fire for the glory of Christ. I just can't get enough of those words! 


I've been praying a lot about my future and everything I have planned. As much as I like plans, my plans mean nothing. If God has something else planned, I need to be prepared to just go with it. As a lot of you know, I'm planning on going into Family Ministries. Last night, I was praying about it then went to read my Bible some. I ended up in Titus and came across these verses: 

1 You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine,but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good.In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. 

Titus 2:1-8.

Then verse 15 says, 15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

I'm so stinkin happy that I found these verses. I feel like they will be my guide and foundation when I go into Family Ministries. While I was reading these verses I felt a peace about my future plans. I knew God them to me at the perfect time to reaffirm what He had already been telling me about my future. Sometimes, I just have to stop and stand in awe of the God that I serve.

Cousinly Love

Happy Birthday to my cousin/best friend/room mate Briana!! This girl has always been my best friend. From playing in Wawa's backyard and mixing up weird stuff in the bird bathe to living together at Baylor, we've always had each other. We have more inside jokes than anyone else I know, we call each other almost daily to sing to each other songs that come on the radio that remind us of each other, and we find time in our crazy summer schedules to see each other every week or two. Briana was there for me all through my first year of Baylor. Somehow, we managed to convince Baylor to let Briana(a sophomore) live in the freshman dorm and I'm sooooo glad they let her. She calmed me down when I would freak out about my grades, she listened to me rant when people were bothering me, and she brought me Common Grounds drinks at the perfect time. I honestly don't know what I would do without this girl. I know I can call her at anytime and she'll be there for me. She's more like a second sister to Courtney and I than our actual cousin. We put up with each other's weirdness and trust me, we're both pretty weird, especially when we're together. I'm so excited to live with her in our apartment in the fall and to see what the next school year has in store for us. 

And here's some cute and slightly embarrassing pictures of our shenanigans the past 19ish years. 

We're pretty cute, huh?

Real Talk

I haven't posted anything in about 3 weeks. Why? Mainly because nothing interesting has happened in the last 3 weeks. Since I've been home I've been looking for a job which hasn't worked out all that great. That being said, if you know of anyone hiring, let me know porfavor! 

I just got back from graduation at RFHS. As I look around at all the kids graduating and listen to everything they talk about, all I can think of is how they have no clue as to what all is going to happen in the next year. I find it crazy to think that a year ago I was just graduating and I was the clueless one. I'm gonna try to sum up the last year with 5 things I learned. Now, this is just from my experience. Other college freshman might have experienced something different. 

Number One

No matter how much you hate Rockport(or your hometown if you live elsewhere), I promise you that you will miss it when you leave for college. Think about, the first 19 years of your life are spent in one setting then your placed somewhere else away from everyone you know. Is it scary? yes. Is it nerve racking? sure is. But is it completely awesome and worthwhile? You bet. I also guarantee that you will call your mom or dad and cry to them at least once. Whether it be about missing home, your grades, or just everything piling up; it will happen. But don't be afraid to call your parents even if you are sobbing to them over the phone. Just call them.

Number Two

Don't live in fear. Don't be afraid of what people think or what could go wrong. Just go for it. I was not looking forward to going to a new church in Waco. The thought of going to a church other than FBC Rockport, especially by myself, completely freaked me out. However, I went and I'm so thankful I did. You can't be afraid to try new things. Within reason of course ;)

Number Three

Appreciate your friends and family at home before you leave. Soak up every bit of Summer and every amount of free time you have with them. You'll soon realize that your family will be there for you regardless of how far from home you are. Your family is the one that will support you throughout college. That being said, keep in mind that whatever you do in college, needs to make your family proud. College comes with a lot of independence and you have to choose what to do with that. Going back to the topic of friends, you will drift apart from people. I hate to say it, but I don't even talk to some of the people that I was close with my senior year of high school. Everyone moves away, gets caught up with school, and makes new friends. Don't get me wrong, being away has also caused me to grow closer to some of my friends. Those are the friendships you cherish and fight for. 

Number Four

School is hard. You will make a bad grade on a test. It's gonna happen. It's awful when it happens, but you deal with it (aka call mom crying) and move on to the next test. There will be a week where you have 3 tests, 2 papers, and countless pages to read; but once again, you handle it and move on. College is way different from high school and I think you'll realize that within the first week. Helpful hint: get to know your professors. If you aren't happy with a grade, ask to come in during office hours and discuss it with them. Professors realize when a student really cares about a grade and that will come in handy. Lastly, study until you think you're ready for the test, then study 2 more hours. And I mean actually study. Don't just sit down in front of the TV with your book open. I mean go to the library and immerse yourself in the material. 

Number Five

Trust in God with everything you have in you. You'll go to college and things will get tough. You'll have questions, doubts, and fears; take them all to Christ. He's the only one that will help you through it. You'll soon realize that people will let you down every now. And believe or not, but sometimes, theres just not an answer to your question. Talk to God about it. He never lets you down and will always listen. Eventually, you'll sort through your problems with His guidance and come out even stronger than before. Don't be afraid to question what you believe. When you question it, you look for reasons why you believe what you do. You'll find those reasons and it will make your faith your own; it will solidify who you are and what you believe.  Talk to God about your problems. Surrender everything to Him and He'll see you through. 

There's a good chance that the majority of people reading this won't even be college graduates. However, I think a lot of these apply to daily life, not just college. These 5 things pretty much sum up my first year. Keep in mind though, college is amazing. I absolutely loved my first year at Baylor and I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.