Sunday, March 24, 2013

Caring


I feel like I haven't been on this thing in FOREVER when in reality, it's only been a few weeks. There's a few reasons I go for awhile without blogging:
1. My life isn't all that interesting
2. Sometimes I have a hard time putting into words what's actually going through my mind

3. I'm flat out too busy(or too lazy) to sit down and type out my thoughts

That being said, you now get to hear my thoughts :)

I've been going to First Woodway here in Waco since I've been at Baylor. We had always just gone to the college service but recently we started going to the actual church service because we missed seeing people other than college kids. I missed seeing the young families, the elderly couples, and just the church family in general. I'm also doing an internship there this semester which has allowed me to get to know more people in the church. In short, I absolutely love the church and the people in the church. I've been able to see how they've clung to Christ after the death of two ministers and how they've used that to grow as a body in Christ together. Don't get me wrong, FBC Rockport will always be my home and they will never be replaced. However, doesn't growing up also include moving on? All of this considered, I'm thinking about moving my membership to First Woodway. And it makes me sad to even say that because I feel like I'm abandoning my church family. It makes me sad to think that I'll walk into FBC Rockport and no longer be a member of the church. Am I being too emotional about this? Probably. I can already hear most of you saying, "Now Erin, just because you aren't a member in the books doesn't mean you aren't a member in our hearts." And I know this. I know my church family won't hate me if I change memberships but it still makes me sad. 

Being too emotional about things leads me into my next thought that's been running through my head lately. I've always had a passion for helping people. Obviously, this means that I care a great deal about people. I do my best to put other peoples needs, feelings, and emotions before mine.  I feel like I automatically put someone before myself and it keeps getting me thrown under the bus. But if someone is going to get hurt, I would rather it be me because I know I'll be fine and I'll move on. So do I care too much? Is it even possible to care too much? On the other hand, I cherish this quality about myself because I think it shows Christ's love through me. I would never want to not have this caring trait but it sometimes gets frustrating.

So that's what's been going through my head the past week or so. I know some of yall want to hear about my trip to Honduras and you will eventually. I'm still processing what I saw and what I'm supposed to do now that I'm back so once I get that figured out, then I'll talk about it.
I'm going home Thursday for Easter and I'm so excited. Since I wasn't in Rockport for Spring Break, I'm looking forward to getting to spend time with family and friends and just take in the beauty of Rockport! 

One more thing! I'm obsessed with this song right. I absolutely love the lyrics and the meaning that it conveys. 





*edit-this is easily the most personal blog post I've ever done and it makes me slightly uncomfortable to allow everyone to see it. However, I'm assuming the only people that read this are those that legitimately care about me. So why not allow it to be put out there?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Figuring it out

When I was in elementary school, I remember thinking, "Man, when I'm 20, I'm gonna have it all figured out." I just knew that I would fulfill all my hopes and dreams by the ripe age of 20 years old. I really did think that by this time in my life, I would know who I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, I would know what my career would be, and I would have life all figured out. You know what? I know absolutely none of those answers to those questions. None. I haven't found "the one", I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, and I certainly don't have it all figured out. However, I've recently figured out that no one has life all figured out. But you know what?


It's okay! 


I don't have to have it all figured out. I don't have to know what my life plan is. When it comes down to it all, it doesn't matter what my plans are. I'll admit, I have huge expectations for my life. I dream about where I want to be in 20 years and I dream big. I want to help families. I want to show them the love of Christ. I want to bring people to Jesus. I want to be married to a man that loves Christ more than He loves me. When my life is finished, I want to hear God tell me, "Well done, child." Honestly, those dreams slightly freak me out because they're big. 

However, those dreams are NOTHING compared to what God has in store for my life. My dreams are big but God's dreams for me are bigger. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20