Monday, April 7, 2014

Molding and Shaping

Before sitting down to write this, I looked back at my last blog post just to see what thoughts were going through my mind at the time. I mentioned how I had no idea what the year would bring but I did know that I would have Christ leading the way.

It's funny how God uses things we say to test us later on.

About a month after that post, all of my plans got thrown out the window. I was looking at a Master's in Christian Education from Dallas Theological Seminary and I was incredibly excited about it. I loved the idea of going to seminary and I absolutely loved the idea of doing it at DTS. Then, I figured out that this degree would not be the most useful for what I want to do with my life. So I had to start over. I went from having a plan to knowing absolutely nothing. I went from knowing that I would be in seminary to not knowing anything at all. At the same time, I also needed to get summer school figured out and get an internship lined up for the fall semester. All the deadlines were approaching and guess what I knew?

NOTHIN.

Ask anyone close to me and they'll tell you that I was somewhat of a mess during this time. I LOVE having a plan. I love having a very detailed plan of what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. I constantly wanted to know what I was supposed to do. I wanted someone to solve my problem and give me an easy way out. So I started researching. I went to people that were in charge of children's home and I asked them what degree they looked for when hiring. I looked at schools and degree plans. I talked to professors. I prayed. I dove into scripture. I begged God to show me where He wanted me. 

After awhile, my anxiety and worry turned into excitement. God opened some doors and everything and everyone pointed back to one degree. A Masters of Social Work. But then what about the theological part? It was very important to me to get the social work experience and but also get the faith aspect as well. I was SO excited about going to seminary and I still felt like that was an option. 

So now, I'm getting two masters degrees. A Masters of Social Work and a Masters of Divinity. 

A few schools have a dual degree program with these two programs and Baylor is one of them. I'm not totally set on Baylor, but it's definitely on the top of the list. I mean, who could turn down 4 more years of living in Waco and being part of the Baylor community? Not me.

So while my degrees have changed, the end goal is still the same. I want to love people as my career. I want to show them that they are wanted and cherished. People that are broken need to see that someone loves them and that God loves them. I think my graduate degrees will allow me to do that. 

That leads me into my internship that I am sooooo stinkin excited about. Starting in August, I will be an intern at The Advocacy Center for Crime Victims and Children. After talking with the program director a little bit and telling him what my passions are, he came up with a few things that I will be doing in the fall. Aside from helping in the office as needed, the main thing I will be in charge of is a group of teenage girls. All of the girls in my group will have been abused at some point in their life either physically, sexually, or emotionally. I will be in charge of facilitating the group and leading discussions about coping, feelings associated with it, etc. I am SO excited about this. Adolescent girls hold a special place in my heart and I'm stoked to be doing this. I will also be one of the people on call to answer the crisis hotline that they have. This job is slightly terrifying to me but I'm sure it will be a great experience! 

Looking back to a month ago, I didn't know anything about grad school, didn't have a plan for summer school, and didn't have any leads on my internship. Now, I plan on getting a Masters of Social Work and a Masters of Divinity, doing my internship and the Advocacy Center, and my summer school is all squared away making it to where the first half of my summer will be spent in Rockport. It wasn't a smooth transition and I definitely didn't make it easy on myself. I was stubborn and had many conversations with God that were bratty and probably pathetic. But I survived. And I know for a fact that I'm following that path that God wants me to follow. He molded my heart and my attitude into something more like Him and as frustrating as it was, I'm so so happy about how it turned out.