Ouch.

Sometimes I get in a blogging mood. As you can tell, I'm definitely in one of those moods right now. That's probably why this is my third post this week.

This past week was tough; actually this semester has been tough. School is pretty much kicking my butt this semester. The majority of my classes are going fine but political science and chemistry are just killing me. On Tuesday, I was realllllly frustrated. Pretty much to the point of tears. I got the grade back from my chemistry test the week before, and I didn't do as well as I had hoped for. The thing is, in high school, I NEVER worried about passing a class. If anything, I was worried about making an A in the class, I was never concerned with passing. Then I get here and I do everything I possibly can and it still isn't good enough. It was just super super discouraging. Remember how I said in an earlier post that one of my fears was failing and in turn disappointing the ones I love? Yea, that's why this post is hard for me to write. I have a really hard time admitting that I'm actually not doing awesome at school. Granted, I'm not doing bad. I'm just not making a 4.0 at the moment. I have a hard time letting people know that things aren't going perfectly. I also have this problem of comparing myself to others. It seems like I'm struggling in school while my other friends from high school are doing great. I think about all these other people in college and I fear that while people read this, they will be thinking of them too. I fear they'll think of one person they know in college and realize that that person is doing so much better than I am. While I was so discouraged on Tuesday, I was talking to a friend of mine. Actually, he's probably one of the honorable guys I know. Anywho, I was talking to him about how frustrated I was with school and he had some very wise words to say. He said, "Erin, pray and the most important thing is keep pursuing God. In a year you're not gonna care about this at all, all that matters is your relationship with God." He's totally right. Next year, I won't even care about chemistry or political science. That might sound awful, but it's true. This will all pass but my relationship with God will withstand all. Obviously, I made it through this week. And I'm pretty much done before Spring Break. I'll have a nice relaxing week off and then get back into the swing of things.

Another point of this post is to show that I don't have it all together. I was talking to someone from back home the other day and they told me that they were so impressed that I had my life all together and had everything figured out. Ummmmmmm that is definitely not the case. I really hope yall don't think that. I don't have my life all together. I don't really know what I wanna do after college, I have my weakness, my doubts, my insecurites and God knows I have my fears. I don't have everything figured out, but I'm working on it. I know I'll never have everything figured out, but I'm trying my best to trust God with all of that.

On a lighter night, is this not hilarious?