Semester wrap up

This semester has been all over the place. I've had some of the most heartbreaking times of my life but also some of the greatest. I'm usually not a very emotional person but I think I've cried more this semester than ever before. Not necessarily sad tears, though! Although, I had more than my fair share of those, too. This post will be a recap of the highs and lows. You'll learn about great things happening but also the sad things that have happened in the past 4 months or so. Despite the ups and downs, I've seen firsthand how faithful the Lord is and how evident it is that He has ordained every aspect of my life.

And since my brain only works in an incredibly Type A fashion, everything is in chronological order :)

Uncle Matt passed away

You can look at my last post for more on this tragic event. It was easily the hardest moment of my life thus far and I still sometimes don't think that it actually happened. I was scrolling through my pictures on my phone and a silly picture of him, my aunt, and my mom popped up and it stopped me cold. It was suddenly hard for me to breath and it felt like a brick was sitting on my chest. It's still so weird to me. But then there's also times where I think of Uncle Matt and I smile and think about what his response would be to the current situations in my life. I also had a dream about him about a month ago. It was a happy dream and I felt like I got to see him one last time which was nice!

Acceptance to Truett

Around Halloween, I found out that I was accepted to Truett Seminary here at Baylor. I'm starting on my Masters of Divinity in just a few weeks and after that, I'll get my Masters of Social Work.

100% scholarship to Truett

Right after I found out that I was accepted to Truett, I also found out that the scholarship I had applied for actually started in June and not January. I was full on panicking about paying for school. I could take out a loan and pay for one semester, but what if I didn't get the scholarship and had no way to pay for all the other semesters? About 2 weeks before I had to confirm my attendance at Truett, my mom asked me what I was going to do. I told her that I know without a doubt that I was supposed to be at Truett so I was going to confirm my attendance and just trust that somehow, God would work it all out and my school would be paid for. Literally the next morning, I got an email saying that I was one of 8 students that was receiving the scholarship that pays for 100% of my degree at Truett and about half of my degree at School of Social Work!! It was such an answer to prayer. I called my mom freaking smooth out and then definitely cried. But happy tears this time!!

Internship

My internship lasted all semester so I decided just to put it in the middle. It's my blog so I can make those decisions :) 

My internship was such a blessing this semester. I learned A TON about helping abuse victims and how the whole system works. However, that wasn't necessarily my favorite part. My favorite part was the people that I worked with. They were so incredibly encouraging and Kerry, my supervisor, was so supportive through everything that I had going on this semester. I could come in on the verge of tears and he was able to talk me into being rational instead of uber emotional.

 

Mrs. Breeding passed away

Not too long after Uncle Matt passed away, Mrs. Breeding, one of the sweetest ladies I know passed away as well. She was diagnosed with cancer in Spring and lost her battle at the end of November. Mrs.Breeding was my math teacher for 2 years in high school, her son JC is one of my close friends, she was in the ladies group that I considered all my second moms, and she was a fellow sports lover. She loved more than most people I know and she was so incredibly sweet. I think it's literally impossible to describe how great she was. It's been such a blessing to see how her family has clung to Christ's promises and worshiped him throughout her battle and continues worshiping after her death.

Got a job

The other exciting thing that happened was that I got a job! Like a grown up, pay the bills, steady job. I had been looking for about 2 weeks and was exhausted from looking at the same job postings everyday. Every job seemed to lead to a dead end. One afternoon, I found a job that was for an office assistant in a law office. It was about 30 hours a week and could potential work around my school schedule. On a whim before I left my internship for the day, I emailed him my resume and added a quick note about it. About 4 hours later, I got a call. He said that he had received my resume and was very interested. Come to find out, about 80% of his cases are with child abuse and neglect. When a CPS case is opened, he is the attorney appointed by the court for the child. Isn't it awesome to see how God works everything out?! So now, I am the office assistant at the Law Office of Charles L. Levy. It's fast paced, stressful, and so interesting! I love the people that I work with and I come home everyday mentally exhausted from everything that I'm learning.

Graduating 

So now, in 36 hours exactly, I will be graduating Baylor Cum Laude with a Bachelors of Science in Child and Family Studies. I have absolutely loved my time at Baylor. Everything from my amazing professors to the beautiful campus to the friends that I've made, Baylor has been so great. I'm thankful that I get to be at a university that cultivates my faith in Christ and serving others. I'm so glad I get to stay here for a few more years! 

Oh and I'm gonna take a selfie with Kenny Starr, our president, when he hands me my diploma. Get pumped.

So all in all, Fall 2014 has been crazy. Some of the worst things happened but also some of the greatest. I've seen Christ's goodness firsthand time after time. I've been stretched thinner than I thought possibly but looking back, I can see how I've grown from it. 

So here's to 2015!! Praying that it will be much better than 2014! 

Death

Death is a weird thing.

It's unnatural.

Unfair.

Surreal.

Up until a few weeks ago, I had never had to deal with death. I'm 22 years old and all of my grandparents are still alive and no one super close to me has died. Until now. On October 18, 2014 my Uncle Matt passed away. It's so incredibly strange for me to type that because it still doesn't feel real. 

As my brother put it, Uncle Matt was one of the good ones. And when we say "good," we mean it in the truest sense of the word. He was one of those guys that would do everything in his power to help you even if he didn't know you. He made friends with everyone he met and he could put a smile on anyone's face.  He had a servants heart which was very evident by looking at how he spent his time and energy. He loved Despicable Me and Kung Fu Panda and watched them frequently. He made some of the best BBQ I have ever eaten in my life and he rocked his crocks better than anyone else I know. He was one of the greatest uncles I could ever ask for. From birth, he treated me as his daughter and always welcomed me into his home. 

Death can be sudden. It can happen when we least expect it. Like I said, I've never had to deal with death, so when he died, I wasn't exactly sure how to handle it.I've taken classes on the grieving process and how to help families through the death of a loved one. But it's not the same as actually going through it firsthand. I know for a fact that without my family and Christ, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. We had to learn how to grieve together. We learned what it meant to truly feel heartbreak and deeply hurt for one another. It's a feeling that I've never experienced before and one I certainly do not want to feel again anytime soon.

When a loved one dies, we're expected to cry and be sad. But a lot of times, if we mention anger, we're suddenly in the wrong. 

But sometimes, you just need to tell someone that this sucks. 

Death sucks. 

It sucks that we lost Uncle Matt so suddenly. 

It sucks and I absolutely hate it. 

A lot of times, especially in the Christian environment, it almost feels off limits to be angry. Not necessarily angry at God but just angry that it happened. People can make it seem like if you're angry, it's a sign that you don't have enough faith in God. I don't think of it that way. You can be angry and still have complete faith and trust in God. That's where I'm at right now. Of course, I'm still incredibly sad that my beloved uncle is gone. But I'm also angry that he's gone. It's not fair by any means. But is my faith still intact? Of course. It's stronger than ever actually.

Now, don't take that last paragraph to say that I'm angry at the world or at God. I still see God's goodness all over the place. Heck, I've seen the Church and the love of Christ in action a ton in the past few weeks. I've felt comfort that I know can only come from Him. I'm simply angry at the situation. In time, I know I won't feel this way. But at this point, that's where I'm at. 

Every once and while, I see something that makes me think of Uncle Matt and it hits me like a ton of bricks that he's actually gone. For instance, I went to send a text and his name popped up on my phone screen with the messages he had sent me. It was filled with lots of emojis and silly pictures. He loved using emojis. Or I'll think about going back home and him being at my grandma's house. It's like a punch in the gut when I realize that he won't be there. It's such an odd and horrible feeling that I have yet to get used to. 

The one consolation that I have in all of this is that I know I will see Uncle Matt again and I can't help but smile when thinking of what a glorious reunion that will be. For some reason, I picture him running towards me in a sombrero, like in the picture below, and giving me a big ol hug. It's times like this that I'm so incredibly thankful for salvation. I know I will see him again. But until then, I'm still on this side of Heaven. And while I'm here, I'm going to live a life that Uncle Matt would want me to live. This includes lots and lots of laughter, lots of family, serving others, and glorifying Christ every chance I get.

"Whenever anybody whom we love dies, we discover that although death is commonplace it is terribly original. We may have thought about it all our lives, but if it comes close to us, it is quite a new, strange thing to us, for which we are entirely unprepared. It may, perhaps, not be the bare loss so much as the strength of the bond which is broken that is the surprise, and we are debtors in a way to death for revealing something in us which ordinary life disguises.”
― William Hale White

Internship

I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow, it is my final semester of college. This semester, I have a pretty comfortable class schedule. No class on Fridays and my only class on Tuesdays and Thursdays is Yoga. Technically, it's "rest and relaxation," but lets be real, it's yoga.
Two of my classes are not meeting with an actual class and I'm just doing them independently with my professor. One of those classes is my internship which I'm doing at The Advocacy Center for Crime Victims and Children (find out more about them here). However, my internship wasn't starting until the 3rd week of school. 

So for the first two weeks, I was bored out of my flippin mind. I would do all my homework rather quickly and then just be bored. Really really bored. But I have good news. 

I STARTED MY INTERNSHIP TODAY! 

Ask anyone that I talked to last night and they'll tell you that I was a nervous wreck. I had no idea what to expect. I also had to wear grown up clothes which I was not too happy about. Being a professional is hard, yall. So after an hour and a half of trying on outfits, picking the first outfit that I tried on, and getting my bag all packed, I was ready for my internship. I felt like a little kid going off to school for the first time. 

You know how some people teach their kids to swim by just throwing them into a pool (which is not recommended)?  That's kind of how my first day went. The main thing that took up my time was observing a forensic interview. One of the main services at The Advocacy Center is the forensic interview. This is done so that children don't have to tell their story (involving physical and sexual abuse) multiple times to multiple people. They talk about what happened and they only have to relive the trauma once. It's set up in a way to be comfortable for the child and more like a conversation than an interrogation. The interview takes place in one room while we (interns and CPS workers) listen and observe from a TV in a different room.

The interview today was with a 6 year old girl. Her parents were divorced and in the middle of a nasty custody battle. CPS had been called a ton of times and there were signs of physical abuse on the girl. She talked about her life at moms house, at dads house, when and where dad "pops" her, and all the details of the abuse. As you can imagine, the interview was hard to hear. According to other interns, this was one of the more tame cases. Working with physically and sexually abused children, I'm sure I'll hear/see way worse. I was feeling a little overwhelmed, to say the least. 

When I was telling different people about my first day, they kept telling me, "oh, you'll be doing this for your career. You'll get used to it." I don't want to get used to it! The day I get used to seeing children abused is the day I'm desensitized to it all and most likely, the day I will step away from the job. Unfortunately, I know that child abuse will most likely never be eradicated. But each day, we're helping individual children. For that day, we might be the only people that truly listen to the child. The only person they can trust for the time being.

So now I'm sitting here with my first day as an intern complete and lemme tell ya, I'm so excited about. Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous. I know it'll be really stinkin hard. I'm sure I'll leave certain cases that tear me up inside and make me furious. But I know I'm supposed to be working with this population at this organization. I'm excited to see what all I learn in the next few months!


Oh. And I'll be 22 in 11 days which is totally strange.

Oy vey

Raise your hand if you've read WAY too many articles on being a single, Christian, young adult lately.

You can't see me, but I'm raising my hand as high as I possibly can.

In my opinion, these articles are SO annoying. So is it hypocritical that I'm posting a blog aka article on this very subject? Maybe. But this is my blog and I do what I want. 

It seems like everytime I get on Facebook or Twitter, someone else has posted an "amazing" article about Christian dating for young adults. Usually, the articles posted are aimed at single young adults that love Jesus. They tell us to have faith that God will bring that special person into our life when we're ready. When we have a solid relationship with Him, then we can have a boyfriend. *sidenote: this thought process always made me mad. I have no doubt that I have a solid relationship with God. That is not dictated by whether or not I currently have a boyfriend.* 

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Maybe I'm just frustrated at seeing all of these articles. Maybe I'm tired of people telling me that "Oh sweetie! You will meet your husband eventually! Don't you worry!" or asking me "do you want me to set you up with my best friend's sister's cousin? He loves Jesus, yall would be perfect!" or "how have you not been snatched up yet?!" 

My favorite conversation went a little something like this: 

He who shall not be named: So you're planning on doing non-profit work? That won't make any money!!

Me: Nope, it won't! But I've accepted the fact that I'm not gonna be rich so that's okay! I'm not in it for the money anyways. 

He who shall not be named: Well do you have a significant other that's gonna be make all the money?

Me: Nope! Not at the moment!

He who shall not be named: Well you're gonna need to find one of those! 

Well thank you. That was a very encouraging talk I just had with you, kind sir. I'm glad that according to you,  my success is measure in whether or not I have a rich husband. 

Oy Vey. 

 

 People. Stop worrying about my dating life. I'm not worried about it. I'm still in college and I still have 4 years of post-graduate education to complete. Lets all just calm down.  Obviously I want to be married  at some point. I don't know when it will happen, but I do know these things:

1. My relationship with Jesus Chris comes before my relationship with ANY human being. I could be head over heels in love with someone and that relationship would come second to my relationship with Christ. 

2. I have things I want to do in my life. Things that I know I'm called to do with my life. Now, I'm not saying a significant other will be a hindrance. I actually mean the opposite. My future spouse will be my ministry partner. But until, and even after, that person comes along, I'm gonna be doing things for the Kingdom and not just hanging around waiting on my life to start.

3. Just because a boy and girl roughly the same age love Jesus, doesn't mean they're going to fall in love. This is a subtle hint at me begging you to stop setting me up with people. I'm sure the guy you have in mind is a great guy. But just because we are both 21 and love Jesus, that doesn't mean that we will love each other. But thank you for the kind thoughts. 

4. I know exactly what I want in a relationship and I will not settle for anything else. I literally have a written out list of things I'm looking for in a spouse. These aren't things like "must have blue eyes" or "must (not so) secretly love TLC like I do." No, these are things like, "must live out his faith in Jesus Christ every single day." My list is a list of things that I will not budge on in a relationship no matter what. I pray over this list and I pray for the person will one day fulfill everything on my list. I have no doubt that they're out there.

5. Lastly, I know that there is a huge difference between a guy that believes in God and a guy that is a solid man of God. These are two very different types of people and I've seen firsthand how each guy acts.

At times, it's incredibly frustrating to see other people around me that are married or in serious relationships. Especially here in the Bible Belt where "Ring by Spring" is not just a silly saying but a way of life for some people. However, I know that my relationship status sure as heck doesn't define me.

This was all very rambly and all over the place, so as a reward for making it to the end, you get to watch this video! 
 

Cheesy pick up lines are my absolute favorite! I think they're so funny! 

Hold Fire

I had a wonderful weekend spent with two of my friends in Waco. We did lots of "Wacoan" activities including tortilla tossing, eating at Georges, and going to the zoo. While we did have a ridiculous amount of fun, we also had a lot of really good conversation. Don't you just love those friends that you can have a blast with but also have deep conversations about life with? I know I do.

One of the conversations we had was about politics. **Don't stop reading just because I mentioned the word "politics!"** Everyone knows people that are borderline obsessed with the current people sitting in office here in the good ol US of A. You know who I'm talking about. The one's that are constantly posting political ads on Facebook usually slamming whoever is currently in charge of our country.  The one's that no matter what the topic of conversation actually is, they bring it back to how much *insert politician here* sucks. And unfortunately, those are sometimes the ones that say comments such as "lets hope for an assassination" or "they need to burn in hell." If you're saying that about ANYONE, then I don't think you fully understand what Hell actually entails.  This goes for both sides of the spectrum. Someone can be incredibly right-winged or incredibly left-winged and they can both have these extreme emotions. Now, I'm not saying that you can't be passionate about something such as politics. However, I am saying that it's very easy to let that passion and interest morph itself into downright fear.

This might be naive and/or ignorant of me, but I honestly do not care about who is in charge right now. The reason I say this is because no matter who is in office, I DO NOT ANSWER TO THEM. I do not base my actions, beliefs, and lifestyle on politicians. My Christian witness trumps any and all political beliefs. Period.

Apostle Peter in 1st Peter 2:13, 14 and 17 talks about this is detail. “13 Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and praise those who do good…17 Honor everyone. Love the Brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the Emperor.”
This is also talked about in Romans 13 when it says, " Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God."

We are to treat them with respect. We can still disagree with politicians but that doesn't mean that we start hating them. Disagree with the law, but honor and respect the person sitting in authority. Shouldn't we be praying for these people instead of damning them to hell? When it comes down to it, we don't answer to people in office.  I live my life to answer to Christ and only Christ. I put all of my trust in Him. He is the only one that holds my future and it is a waste of time to even try and put that trust in the hands of any human being.


Disclaimer: You can disagree with me. I'm expecting some people to disagree. However, if you want to share your opinion (which is welcome!), please do so in a respectable manner :)

Uncomfortable

How is it already July?! I feel like I haven't been home that long but then I feel like I've been in Rockport for months. I go back to Waco on Monday to start Spanish 4 and as much as I love Waco, I'm not so pumped about going back. I love having the opportunity to take a random trip to the beach or have a spontaneous movie night with my friends. I love seeing people I know and love in HEB during the day. I love seeing my family all around town (cause lets be honest, I'm related to everyone). However, this time at home has been kind of weird. Maybe weird isn't the right word. Uncomfortable, maybe?

I've heard that when you're uncomfortable, God is doing the most work in your life. He wants us out of our comfort zone. This month and a half that I've been home has been full of God molding my heart. And I am not comfortable with it. I'm doing it and I'm trusting Him to the best of my ability, but I am sure as heck not comfortable with it. During my time in Rockport, I've been hurt by a few different people. People I never expected to hurt me. I've been hurt personally by some people and I've been hurt by the actions and words of some people that were directed at people I dearly love. I go back and forth between heartbroken and frustrated. I try my best not to be bitter towards them. I try to trust in God and His plan. But that's hard. It's uncomfortable.

However, as painful as it's been, it's also been amazing to see the things that God has taught me throughout everything. Mainly, He's taught that no matter how many times people fail me, hurt me, or betray me, He will never fail me. Every single person in my life will disappoint me at some point. They'll fall short. But God won't. Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." This sounds like such a simple thought. However,  we all know that people are what fuel me. I love being around people, helping them, and learning from them. I take what they tell me to heart. I love hard but that also means I hurt hard. It's been a painful process learning that He is the only one in whom I can put all of my faith. But it's been a necessary one. It's a lesson that I'm glad I'm learning early on in my life. I'm thankful for the people that are around me to encourage me and speak truth into my when I need to be reminded of who exactly holds my heart.

So, that's been my journey this summer so far. I've conquered two summer courses and I'm about to start my third. I've grown incredibly close to some amazing friends. I've gotten pretty stinkin tan without burning (except once)! I've been reminded of how much I love my hometown and the people in it. 

Now, I have a new challenge for myself and I'm gonna try to stick with it. I absolutely LOVE getting mail and I also love writing letters. I think there's something so exciting about getting a handwritten letter in the mail. I also think that a lot of things  and feelings get left unsaid between people. So all of that mixed with my love language being "Words of Affirmation," I've decided to start sending people letters. I have no idea who I'll send them to or what they'll say but I do know that a lot of people have poured into my life and influenced it more than I can ever comprehend and I think that those people need to know how much they mean to me. 

I also have a ton of cute stationary that needs to be put to use! I'm excited about letting people know how much they're loved and appreciated. 

Thanks for sticking with me through this rambly and long post. Maybe I'll get this all figured out one day. Just maybe.

Backtracking

I posted this article about a month ago on my Facebook page. After it was up for about 2 days, I was asked by someone to take it down. It seems that some people that I'm friends with on Facebook thought I was posting it so they would read it. Being the peacemaker and people pleaser that I am, I removed the article from my page. However, I really regret doing that. When I originally posted the article, I knew a few things:

1. it was a dang good article that had some amazing points in it.
2. it was theologically sound.
3. I wasn't posting it hoping that specific people would read it.
4. I needed to read the article as much as anyone else.

So, I'm posting it on my blog as I compromise. I hope you read the article and I hope God teaches you something through it. However, you may not agree with me. But believe it or not, not everyone has to agree on things and that is okay! There's this mindset on social media that if you don't agree with something that is posted, then you have to get mad that person. This should not be the case! You can simply disagree with someone and the discussion ends there. I feel like I need to start singing "Why can't we be friends." But seriously, just know your opinion on the issue and move on. 

You can find the article here:

http://perrynoble.com/blog/my-wife-had-a-bad-experience-at-chic-fil-a

Like I said, I hope God speaks to you as you read this article. I would love to hear your opinion on it...but not on Facebook. I have this track record of posting something innocently thinking that it's not gonna be a big deal and then everything ends up blowing up. So, like I said I would love to hear your opinion but maybe send me a message on Facebook or comment on the actual blog :)

Molding and Shaping

Before sitting down to write this, I looked back at my last blog post just to see what thoughts were going through my mind at the time. I mentioned how I had no idea what the year would bring but I did know that I would have Christ leading the way.

It's funny how God uses things we say to test us later on.

About a month after that post, all of my plans got thrown out the window. I was looking at a Master's in Christian Education from Dallas Theological Seminary and I was incredibly excited about it. I loved the idea of going to seminary and I absolutely loved the idea of doing it at DTS. Then, I figured out that this degree would not be the most useful for what I want to do with my life. So I had to start over. I went from having a plan to knowing absolutely nothing. I went from knowing that I would be in seminary to not knowing anything at all. At the same time, I also needed to get summer school figured out and get an internship lined up for the fall semester. All the deadlines were approaching and guess what I knew?

NOTHIN.

Ask anyone close to me and they'll tell you that I was somewhat of a mess during this time. I LOVE having a plan. I love having a very detailed plan of what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. I constantly wanted to know what I was supposed to do. I wanted someone to solve my problem and give me an easy way out. So I started researching. I went to people that were in charge of children's home and I asked them what degree they looked for when hiring. I looked at schools and degree plans. I talked to professors. I prayed. I dove into scripture. I begged God to show me where He wanted me. 

After awhile, my anxiety and worry turned into excitement. God opened some doors and everything and everyone pointed back to one degree. A Masters of Social Work. But then what about the theological part? It was very important to me to get the social work experience and but also get the faith aspect as well. I was SO excited about going to seminary and I still felt like that was an option. 

So now, I'm getting two masters degrees. A Masters of Social Work and a Masters of Divinity. 

A few schools have a dual degree program with these two programs and Baylor is one of them. I'm not totally set on Baylor, but it's definitely on the top of the list. I mean, who could turn down 4 more years of living in Waco and being part of the Baylor community? Not me.

So while my degrees have changed, the end goal is still the same. I want to love people as my career. I want to show them that they are wanted and cherished. People that are broken need to see that someone loves them and that God loves them. I think my graduate degrees will allow me to do that. 

That leads me into my internship that I am sooooo stinkin excited about. Starting in August, I will be an intern at The Advocacy Center for Crime Victims and Children. After talking with the program director a little bit and telling him what my passions are, he came up with a few things that I will be doing in the fall. Aside from helping in the office as needed, the main thing I will be in charge of is a group of teenage girls. All of the girls in my group will have been abused at some point in their life either physically, sexually, or emotionally. I will be in charge of facilitating the group and leading discussions about coping, feelings associated with it, etc. I am SO excited about this. Adolescent girls hold a special place in my heart and I'm stoked to be doing this. I will also be one of the people on call to answer the crisis hotline that they have. This job is slightly terrifying to me but I'm sure it will be a great experience! 

Looking back to a month ago, I didn't know anything about grad school, didn't have a plan for summer school, and didn't have any leads on my internship. Now, I plan on getting a Masters of Social Work and a Masters of Divinity, doing my internship and the Advocacy Center, and my summer school is all squared away making it to where the first half of my summer will be spent in Rockport. It wasn't a smooth transition and I definitely didn't make it easy on myself. I was stubborn and had many conversations with God that were bratty and probably pathetic. But I survived. And I know for a fact that I'm following that path that God wants me to follow. He molded my heart and my attitude into something more like Him and as frustrating as it was, I'm so so happy about how it turned out. 

Uncertain yet faithful

It's been almost 3 months since I last blogged and I feel like it's now gotten to that point where it would almost be impossible to fill you on everything that has happened in the last few months. I'll try my best:

•  I survived finals and ended up making Dean's List for the Fall semester
• I had a great Christmas filled with lots and lots of family time
• I started my last Spring semester by taking 16 hours
• I finished 2013 on a high note and I'm planning on 2014 being a year filled with surprises, uncertainty, and adventures and I'm so excited.
• If you wanna know a play by play of 2013, creep on my facebook or just ask me :)

I was going to tell yall about how I actually kept my New Year Resolution in 2013 until I realized that I was thinking of the resolution from 2012!! Embarrassing. However, at the beginning of 2012, I made this post and decided that I would no longer be a people pleaser but I would be a Christ pleaser. While most of the time, being a Christ pleaser lines up with pleasing those that I love, at times it can be a little difficult.
Now, two years later, I can honestly say that I'm getting better at this and I'm so proud of myself for it.

Now for this year. I feel like 2014 (how weird is that to say?) is going to be a fun, stressful, new, patience-testing, and exciting year. I'm to the point in my life where I have to make some incredibly huge decisions that could alter my whole life. I have only this semester, summer school, and next Fall semester left at Baylor and then I'm forced into the real world. A world full of uncertainty. A world full of opportunities to put to use everything I learned in my classes. A world full of people yearning to know of the love of Christ. But do I know what this world looks like? 

Not in the slightest.

I have no clue where I'll be. Maybe I'll be in Dallas in seminary. Maybe I'll find a job and I'll be working full time. Maybe I'll decide to backpack through Europe. Though if you know me, you know I'm not the backpacking through Europe type. Maybe I'll get married and be the perfect trophy wife. Totally kidding. My point is, I have no clue where I'll be or what I'll be doing. This is the first time in my life that I don't have a plan. A year from now, I have absolutely no clue what will be going on. At this point, the thought of that freaks me smooth out. I like a plan. I like routine. I like KNOWING. However, I love Christ more. That's why I'm trying my best to cling to Christ and trust in His plan for my life. His plan is greater than anything I could ever imagine (see Ephesians 3:20). I'm trying my hardest to put my own fears and uncertainties aside to listen to Him about what to do with my life, where to do it, and who to live that life with.

So who knows what 2014 will bring? All I know is that while I'm figuring things out, I have Christ leading the way so I'm good to go.