Community

At the beginning of this semester, I could sense that a lot of changes were coming my way. Even though I was staying in Waco, I was starting a new chapter in my life. I had heard rather intimidating things about attending seminary, so I was a little nervous. However, my prayer for the semester was community. I was praying for community at Truett, at church, and within my friend group. I was also praying to see how each of those smaller communities fit into the Community of God. The Church. Big C Church. I made this my daily prayer. I prayed for true friendships and relationships. I prayed that each individual community would strengthen each other and glorify Christ. 

It's been almost 2 months since I've been praying about this and it has been SO cool to see how God has answered those prayers more than I could have ever imagined. Shout out to Ephesians 3:20 for that one. 

^" Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

I've seen God work in my group of friends here in Waco. It's been so cool to see how He has molded our group into the solid friend group it is today. From chick fil a runs to watching the Bachelor (don't judge), to laying in my bed late at night to calm me down when I'm having a freak out moment about a boy, my friends are seriously the best and I know God had a hand in that.

I've also seen God work in the community at Truett. Because I started in the Spring semester, our orientation group was a lot smaller than the regular orientation group in the Fall. However, I feel like we're a pretty close knit group. We're all in classes together and it's been such a joy getting to know each of them. At Truett, we also have Covenant Groups which are pretty much just small groups created to focus on our spiritual formation throughout our time at seminary. To be honest, I was a little worried about Covenant Group. I had heard that they were very hit or miss depending on the group. However, I have absolutely loved my group. There's only 4 of us plus our leader but we are such a diverse group of ladies. We are all different ages with different backgrounds, faith stories, and struggles. It's been incredibly encouraging to know that I have people praying specifically for me during the week. 

Lastly, I've seen God work with the community at church. Throughout undergrad, I had been going to a local church but hadn't been super involved. I missed the community that comes from a church family so I decided to get more involved. I found a class for young adults and then through that class, found a weekly Bible Study that was starting. Even though I'm still on the fence about Beth Moore Bible Studies (don't kill me, church ladies), I've loved having a group of girls that I meet with every week and study scripture with. The study is on Daniel and it's been really interesting. 

All of that being said, I've seen God go above and beyond these past 2 months. He's answered my prayers and even did it rather quickly which is even better since I can be rather impatient! I went into seminary very hesitant and doubtful about it. However, I have absolutely loved how everything has gone this semester and I couldn't be happier. My prayer will now be for these communities to strengthen and grow in Christ so we can better serve Him.

 And now it's time for the first round of tests so I have been doing lots of studying, reading, and lets be real, a lot of procrastinating. So I will be spending my weekend studying! Please come soon, Spring Break!!

Faith Story

At Truett, all students are required to be involved in a Covenant Group. This is for spiritual formation throughout our time at seminary. My group is composed of our leader, myself, and 3 other lovely ladies. We're all in different walks of life so I'm excited to see where The Lord guides us this semester. For our first assignment, we were asked to write out our faith story and share it with our group. I figured I would share it with yall too! It's rather long, so hang on with me. But it's hard to put 15 years of God's work into one story! I could go into way more detail with every event and if you want more detail, just ask and I would be happen to tell more!

Faith Story

When I think about writing out my whole faith story, I get slightly overwhelmed. I was baptized at age 7 so this story goes across a span of 15 years. It’s overwhelming because I’ve seen God do so much. From the huge events that can only be explained through Him to the little situations that I can look back on and think, “God that was totally you. I had no idea at the time, but that was all you.” I reflect back on the happy times, the times filled with sorrow, and the times filled with anger. The times when I felt like God was running next time me but also the times when I couldn’t feel him near for long periods of time.

Like I said before, I was baptized when I was 7 years old. My sister and I were baptized at the same time by our father in front of our church. Even though this is huge milestone in my journey, I would not classify it as one of the defining moments. It was only the first introduction. The seed that was planted that would eventually grow and blossom. For the next few years, nothing truly significant happened. Which looking back now, I can see that this wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Once I got to high school, I could feel The Lord preparing me. This absolutely terrified me. I was comfortable. I went to church twice a week, followed all the rules, was nice to everyone, so I thought I was good to go. However, God very abruptly showed me that this was not okay. Going through the motions and looking like the “good” Christian is not okay. For about 5 or 6 months, I didn’t feel God’s presence in my life. These months were filled with doubting, searching, and figuring out what I believed. By the end, I had finally made my faith in Jesus Christ my own. I didn’t just believe what my parents told me and I didn’t just pray when I needed something. I had an actual relationship with Jesus Christ. One that sustained me and brought me joy. Looking back, I see how this was in God’s plan for my life and how it was timed perfectly.

It’s not possible for me to talk about my faith and not include my church family. Aside from my biological family, my church family has had one of the biggest impacts on my spiritual formation. I grew up in Rockport, TX and my church family was filled with some of my favorite people. I had a group of people that truly knew me, loved me, and prayed for me. They were invested in my life, my activities, and especially my spiritual formation. Obviously, my biological family was incredibly important as well. My family is rather large, so I have always seen my great aunts and uncles, 2^nd and 3^rd cousins, and whatnot on a pretty regular basis. My best friends include my sister, mom, aunt, and cousin. My family means the world to me. They were always supporting me and praying for me. While this is a great thing that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, it also made me a people pleaser to the extreme. I found myself living my life to please people that loved me, instead of pleasing Christ. This is a character trait that was pointed out to me in high school and that I’ve struggled with every single day. This all came to a head towards the end of my undergrad. A huge disagreement happened in my home church and it caused a lot of division. People that I had looked up to for years and had been mentors to me were suddenly in the wrong. I saw human nature come out more than Christ-like nature and it was horribly unpleasant. I learned that people fail. It’s inevitable. This is one of the many reasons that I cannot live for people. They will fail me time and time again yet Christ will not.  I literally have to wake up every day surrender that part of me over to Christ and even then, it is a daily struggle for me. However, I seen how this character trait, or flaw, also instilled in me a yearning to help people. To make their life better because I desperately want people to be happy. So while at times it can be bad, it has also shaped me into who I am.

I surrendered my life to Christian ministry my senior year in high school. I had no clue what it would look like and I wouldn’t figure it out until halfway through my undergrad. Once I got to college, I knew that I was being called to help the people in the world that were broken and hurting. I also knew that I was being called to seminary which absolutely terrified me. I didn’t want to go and I especially did not know how I was going to pay for it. After months of prayer and talking to different people, I applied to Truett for the Masters of Divinity and Masters of Social Work dual degree program. So not only was I now getting 1 Masters degree, but two. I got accepted but I had no idea how to pay for it. I absolutely knew that I was supposed to be a part of this program and if I knew that I was called to do it, then God would make it happen. It was a time where God was teaching me patience and how to be faithful and trust Him. A week after I told Truett that I would be attending, I was notified that I received a scholarship that would pay for 100% of my tuition at Truett.

The last major milestone in my faith story happened last semester and it was definitely the most significant because it forced me to deal with something I hadn’t dealt with before and it forced me to place my trust in Christ because I literally had no other option. Growing up, I had never had to deal with the death of someone close to me. Even to this day, all 4 of my grandparents are still alive. I had never had to experience it until last semester. On October 18^th my Uncle Matt died of a heart attack. He had had the heart attack 2 weeks before, and had been in ICU until he passed away. Uncle Matt was one of my favorite people in the world. I had grown up with him as my second dad. He was a genuinely good guy that loved the Lord and loved every person that he came in contact with. The weeks leading up to his death were filled with tears, long days, and lots of prayer. Prayer that started as begging and bargaining and eventually changed to prayers asking for peace and comfort for us. After he died, I also learned that it was okay to be mad at God for a little bit. It’s okay to think that His plan isn’t fair. It’s part of the grieving process. Still today, there’s days where it still doesn’t feel real and I hate it. About a month after he died, one of my best friend’s moms passed away. In a span of a month, two of my favorite people in the world were gone. It seemed like everyone around me was hurting, including myself. While these were times that caused immense pain and sorrow, they were also times that I saw God present the most. I saw Him in people that ministered to us, in ways that He comforted us, and simply just the fact that we were able to get out of bed every morning afterwards. There was no way possible that I would have been able to do it without him strengthening me along the way.

At this point in my life, I don’t know if I have ever felt closer to God. I’m noticing little things in my life that He is doing and they bring me so much joy. I’m surrounded my people that bring me closer to Him, I attend a great school that has me constantly exploring my faith, and I’m just so happy. It’s been so interesting to look back and see how He has used things to prepare me for what was going to happen. For instance, even though the process he took me through in high school was difficult at the time, if He had not made me reevaluate my relationship with Him, I would not have been able to handle Uncle Matt’s death. The strength that He had built up within me was put to use during the most trying time of my life. This semester, I’m praying for community. Community within my classes, my church, and my friends. Then also how each of those individual communities will work towards the Kingdom of God. I’m excited to see what God will do with me during these next few years in Waco. I have no idea what the next few years will look like. I’m sure there will be highs and lows, but I’m even more sure that my relationship with Christ will withstand it all.