Disconnecting

I recently made the decision to deactivate my Facebook for a little bit. Sadly enough, this wasn't an easy decision. I like to know what's going on with people. I enjoy seeing pictures, reading articles, and keeping up with my friends and family around the world. But sometimes, social media can be VERY overwhelming. I deactivated my account for 3 reasons. 

1. Things were getting ugly. 

This political season seems to be bringing out the absolute worst in everyone. Everyday, I would get on Facebook and see comments from people I know and love that were incredibly hateful and mean. Let me be clear, people can have differing opinions. And contrary to what I'm seeing on Facebook, you can debate these opinions without being hateful to people. It was getting hard for me to reconcile the fact I know some of the people have a relationship with Jesus Christ yet they were acting so hateful and downright mean. Then I started getting angry. I was angry that people were being so mean and I started to look at those people differently. Instead of seeing their profile picture and being reminded of how awesome they were, I was looking at their profile picture and remembering what awful thing they said on someone's post. I felt my heart becoming hardened towards certain people and that was not okay with me. I caught myself being more argumentative towards certain people and that was not okay with me either. 

So now I'm just completely avoiding it all together. Is this the most healthy response? Probably not. But it's what I need to do in order for me to salvage relationships and stay sane (and kind) for the time being. 

2. Privacy

I'm not talking about being scared that someone will read my post and come and murder me. Although, that would be no bueno. When I say privacy, I mean the intimate details of my life. The older I get, the less and less I want every single person on my Facebook to know exactly what's happening in my life. Not every single person has earned the right to know every detail of my life. *I also totally see the irony in me saying this on my blog where I do share the happenings of my life.* It's not that I'm hiding anything in my life. But if someone truly cared what was happening with me, they would ask. It just seems that on Facebook recently, people are asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking why I've become so "liberal" or if I've "found the one yet" (the answer is still no, thank you very much) why not ask me how my job at the shelter is going? Or what I'm learning in classes? Or what God is specifically doing in my life right at this moment. I would LOVE to tell you about any of those things because those things are worth talking about. God has actually done some really cool things in my life lately and I would love to share them. Let be real, we all love the cat videos and fun pictures, but are they really that important? What happened to taking the time to intentionally ask someone how their life is going? Friends, if you truly care about someone, ask them how their life is going! Don't just scroll past their status and pictures. Take the time to call/text/email them and see how things are going. 

3. Time

Don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those people that humbly (but not really humbly at all), says "Oh my gosh, I just wish I had the extra time to waste on Facebook!" The only reason people say that is to make other people feel bad. When I use time as a reason to deactivate my account, I mean the time I was wasting. I would sit there for 30 minutes sometimes and scroll endlessly through posts. That's just silly! I'm not saying that I was going to go do something amazing during that time. But I could be reading a book, interacting with other people, or just doing literally anything productive. 


At the end of the day, I want to keep my mind fresh, my heart kind, gentle, and focused on Christ, and my actions and words reflecting my belief in Him. By staying on Facebook, I'm not sure that would've happened, unfortunately. For some reason, people think that Facebook is the only form of communication and if I leave Facebook, they'll never hear from me again. Not the case. If you have my phone number, feel free to text or call me. If not, my email is erin.albin1@gmail.com and I would love to talk about my life, your life, and just about anything else!

Ditching the List

Remember this summer reading list that I blogged about back in May? Yea, that didn't happen. After reading about 1 chapter of a few of the books and finding out some of them just were not good, I ditched the stack and did my own thing. I also started watching Game of Thrones so that took up the majority of my free time anyways. I'm proud to say that this summer while working 2 jobs, I've also read 5 books and watched 5 and a half seasons of Game of Thrones! And I still have 20 days left before school starts! I think that's a success. 

I read book 4 a little over a month ago and it's a good thing that I wrote my blog post about it and just saved it as a draft. Had I not done that, I wouldn't have remembered much of the details and emotions of the book. Or I might have included some Game of Thrones characters into review of the book. Who knows.

Book 4: Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust by Immaculee Ilibagiza

Description per Amazon: In 1994, Rwandan native Ilibagiza was 22 years old, when the death of Rwanda's Hutu president sparked a three-month slaughter of nearly one million ethnic Tutsis in the country. She survived by hiding in a Hutu pastor's tiny bathroom with seven other starving women for 91 cramped, terrifying days. This firsthand account cuts two ways: her description of the evil that was perpetrated, including the brutal murders of her family members, is soul-numbingly devastating, yet the story of her unquenchable faith and connection to God throughout the ordeal uplifts and inspires. Her Catholic faith shines through, but the book will speak on a deep level to any person of faith. Ilibagiza's remarkable path to forgiving the perpetrators and releasing her anger is a beacon to others who have suffered injustice.

My review: SO GOOD! This book is actually stressful. I sat in my living room and read about 3/4 of it in one sitting because I literally couldn't put it down. I mean, she's writing it so she obviously lives. But there are so many times where she easily could've died yet her life was spared. It's hard to imagine that something like this actually happened but it's even harder to imagine forgiving someone that killed all of my family and friends. Despite the fact that this book is about a horrible and disgusting genocide, it's actually very encouraging. She does a really good job and talking about her relationship with Christ and telling what He did. She would be in a horrible situation, pray for God to give her an answer or a way out, and almost immediately, her prayer would be answered.  However, she talked about it with such faith as if she were telling on in a footnote, "Of course God came through for me. Why wouldn't He?" I highly suggest this book if you want to learn a little bit about history and the evilness of man but also learn a lot about how faith can impact your life and how God can move through You even when it seems impossible. 

Book 5: Searching For Sunday: Loving, Leaving and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans. 

Description per Amazon: Like millions of her millennial peers, Rachel Held Evans didn't want to go to church anymore. The hypocrisy, the politics, the gargantuan building budgets, the scandals--church culture seemed so far removed from Jesus. Yet, despite her cynicism and misgivings, something kept drawing her back to Church. And so she set out on a journey to understand Church and to find her place in it.

My Review: Meh. First off, this book is nothing like I thought it was going to be which isn't necessarily a bad thing. In my mind, I thought RHE was going to share her journey with the church and how the people failed her yet the church never did. And that's sort of what it was, but not really. She took major components of the Church such as communion, prayer, baptism, marriage, etc. and looked at them very closely. There were parts of the book that were very encouraging and tweetable. *tweetable can be a word, right?* However, it was hard to find those passages within all of the cynicism coming from RHE towards the Church and the people of the Church. I kept waiting for the moment where she spent a few chapters on how people within the church are flawed because that's how people are and why we need a Savior yet I never really found that. A lot of her writing came off as "holier than thou" and arrogant when the book could have been very powerful. She even had a small section addressing her cynicism and the damage that it could do yet continue to stay in a cynical mindset. In her defense,she spent the last page and a half encouraging her readers to keep pursuing Christ even when they feel numb to Him. She encourages us to do that together to support each other throughout our faith journey but then also says that "church isn't some community that you join. Church is what happens when someone taps you on the shoulder and whispers in your ear, pay attention, this is holy ground; God is here." I agree that church isn't just a building you enter into on Sundays. However, I think this book was trying to convince people that you don't truly need a church family and community and I find that sad. While I am not as naive and happy go lucky about the Church as I used to be (that's another story for a probably not so public podium), I still value the purpose of the Church and the community that comes along with it and I'm not sure Rachel Held Evans does. I'm hoping there will be a followup book that talks about how she used to be incredibly cynical and argumentative about the church, but God changed her heart and she now sees the value of it. Who knows. In general, I wouldn't recommend it. However, I think it could be a valuable book because it shows us that it is okay to question the church and be frustrated with the church. But it stops before saying why we can't just toss it aside. We should wrestle with the hard questions, ask people why things are the way they are, and continue to have a heart filled with grace and mercy, not one with bitterness and sarcasm towards God's people. 

Don't worry, I'm completely aware that that review just turned into a mini sermon. I'm done now, I promise.

I'm going to try to read one book before classes start back up but we'll see how that goes. Game of Thrones might win out. The next book is also by Rachel Held Evans and it's A Year of Biblical Womanhood. She spends a whole year taking the Bible's instructions for women as literally as possible and living them out. Should be a fun read!