Uncomfortable

How is it already July?! I feel like I haven't been home that long but then I feel like I've been in Rockport for months. I go back to Waco on Monday to start Spanish 4 and as much as I love Waco, I'm not so pumped about going back. I love having the opportunity to take a random trip to the beach or have a spontaneous movie night with my friends. I love seeing people I know and love in HEB during the day. I love seeing my family all around town (cause lets be honest, I'm related to everyone). However, this time at home has been kind of weird. Maybe weird isn't the right word. Uncomfortable, maybe?

I've heard that when you're uncomfortable, God is doing the most work in your life. He wants us out of our comfort zone. This month and a half that I've been home has been full of God molding my heart. And I am not comfortable with it. I'm doing it and I'm trusting Him to the best of my ability, but I am sure as heck not comfortable with it. During my time in Rockport, I've been hurt by a few different people. People I never expected to hurt me. I've been hurt personally by some people and I've been hurt by the actions and words of some people that were directed at people I dearly love. I go back and forth between heartbroken and frustrated. I try my best not to be bitter towards them. I try to trust in God and His plan. But that's hard. It's uncomfortable.

However, as painful as it's been, it's also been amazing to see the things that God has taught me throughout everything. Mainly, He's taught that no matter how many times people fail me, hurt me, or betray me, He will never fail me. Every single person in my life will disappoint me at some point. They'll fall short. But God won't. Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." This sounds like such a simple thought. However,  we all know that people are what fuel me. I love being around people, helping them, and learning from them. I take what they tell me to heart. I love hard but that also means I hurt hard. It's been a painful process learning that He is the only one in whom I can put all of my faith. But it's been a necessary one. It's a lesson that I'm glad I'm learning early on in my life. I'm thankful for the people that are around me to encourage me and speak truth into my when I need to be reminded of who exactly holds my heart.

So, that's been my journey this summer so far. I've conquered two summer courses and I'm about to start my third. I've grown incredibly close to some amazing friends. I've gotten pretty stinkin tan without burning (except once)! I've been reminded of how much I love my hometown and the people in it. 

Now, I have a new challenge for myself and I'm gonna try to stick with it. I absolutely LOVE getting mail and I also love writing letters. I think there's something so exciting about getting a handwritten letter in the mail. I also think that a lot of things  and feelings get left unsaid between people. So all of that mixed with my love language being "Words of Affirmation," I've decided to start sending people letters. I have no idea who I'll send them to or what they'll say but I do know that a lot of people have poured into my life and influenced it more than I can ever comprehend and I think that those people need to know how much they mean to me. 

I also have a ton of cute stationary that needs to be put to use! I'm excited about letting people know how much they're loved and appreciated. 

Thanks for sticking with me through this rambly and long post. Maybe I'll get this all figured out one day. Just maybe.