Wait, life is moving on?

Like I've mentioned before, I'm at this weird stage in life where I'm experiencing life in two different places. I have my Waco life, Waco friends, Waco home, and Waco church. And then I have my Rockport home, Rockport life, Rockport friends, Rockport family, and Rockport church. When I left for college, I thought I would have no problem having two seperate lives but as I'm growing, I'm realizing it's not that simple. And honestly, I'm not quite sure how to handle this. Let me explain.

About 3 weeks ago, something hit me like a ton of bricks: My Rockport life is moving on without me. Can you believe that?! Just kidding. I know it's super selfish. I didn't truly believe that Rockport life would stop when I left, but I didn't take into consideration how it would affect me. I've only been gone 2 and a half years. That's really not that long in the grand scheme of things, but in those short two and a half years, I've gone from knowing every single person in the church to not even knowing some of the leaders. I don't know half of my Sunday school class and they don't know me. I don't know everyone and everyone doesn't know me. I walk into church and see a ton of faces that I don't know.Which is good because that means First Baptist Church is gaining new members and our current members are sharing Christ to the community. But how did I go from someone that was involved in every church activity to a visitor that shows up on holidays and weekends every now and then?

Now, I know people in my church are reading this. Them reading it shows that I have church family that loves me no matter what stage of life I'm in. And no matter how selfish I am about things. And let me assure yall, my feelings about this have nothing to do with the people in my church. It has to do with my heart. It has to do with me trying to figure out how to keep my heart in Rockport while also living my life outside of Rockport. So how do I give my heart to both of these places? How do I stay connected with my Rockport church family that has shaped me into who I am today as well as connecting to my Waco community that is continually shaping me?

What an interesting life

Welcome back, strangers. I haven't posted anything on my blog in almost two months. During this time, people would ask me why I had abandoned it and I would tell them, "My life isn't interesting enough to talk about right now. All I do is go to school, work, keep up with my fantasy football league, and study." It hit me recently that telling people my life isn't interesting is a big fat lie. My life is interesting when it comes down to it. Since I last posted I've:

• Started my third year at Baylor, I'm taking 16 hours of classes and treasurer of the Child and Family Studies Organization
• Turned 21! 
• Started nannying two of the cutest girls on the face of the planet. Katy Jo is about 3 and a half and Annabelle will be 2 in December. 
• joined a Fantasy Football league. Even though the draft was one of the most stressful things I've ever done, I absolutely love doing it. I'm the only girl in my league and I feel like I'm doing pretty decent against all the guys!
• led a group of 7 high school girls at a D-now in Port Aransas. More on that later
• been continually messed up by God in the best way possible

So to all you people that I've talked to about my blog recently, ignore what I told you. Lets get into more detail on some of the things mentioned above.

First, I'm in a Functions of Ministry class this semester. For our main assignment, we have to create a Bible study or sermon. I've led Bible studies and small groups before but actually creating the Bible study is a completely different story. We had to look at the passage in multiple translations, define words in the original language, read a few commentaries, and then decide what the main lessons are. I chose to create a Bible study and was assigned Proverbs 31. Now, we had a list of passages to choose from and I chose Proverbs 31 at the very bottom of the list but that's the one I got assigned. I'm not gonna lie, I literally groaned when I saw what passage I was assigned. Proverbs 31? The passage talking about the perfect wife? The passage that I've avoided because I knew I would never live up to those characteristics? Yep. Sure enough. However, now that I've looked closer at this passage, it's definitely not what I've always thought it was. This passage isn't telling us exactly what all Christian women should be like. It's showing us an example of a wise, Godly woman while another passage gives a visual of a woman that will lead away from God. It's not saying that every women should buy and sell land, make clothes for her whole family, stay up late, and wake up early. It's telling us to be wise. Creating this Bible study was super intimidating for me and that's why I mention it. It scared me to think that I had to interpret the scripture in my way and tell people what I took as the main lessons. However, I think it taught me a lot and taught me how to create things on my own which will definitely be a useful skill in my later career. 

Secondly, I was asked to lead at a D-now weekend in Port A that took place last weekend. For those of you who don't know what a D-now weekend is, it's pretty much an in-town weekend retreat within a youth group. It's packed with devotionals, growing closer to the Lord, bonding, fun, food, and staying in host homes. Honestly, leading up to the weekend, I was really stinkin nervous. I distinctly remember driving home from Waco and having a knot in my stomach because I was so nervous. I've led weekends like this in the past, but they've always been with girls that I know. I had no idea who the girls in my group were. I didn't know their personalities, their families, where they are with their spiritual walks, I knew nothing. By the end of the weekend, I figured out that that was a good thing but for the time being, I was terrified. On Friday night, we were supposed to go over 2 different sessions and we didn't even get through half of the first one. Instead, we just talked as a group and got to share things from our lives. Let me tell you, some of the things that these girls had been through was rough. Things that no one, let alone high schoolers, should have to deal with. At first, I was overwhelmed. I have never been through anything close to some of the things they had experienced. Then, from the encouragement of some people I texted in a panic, I realized that I was there for a reason. I was put as their leader to love on them and show them that Christ is the ultimate healer. By the end of the weekend, I fell in love with those 7 girls. They were sweet, loving, and some of the craziest girls I had ever met and they touched my heart in such an awesome way.

This is my group at the beginning of our afternoon activity. I think if I had taken this picture at the end, we would've looked pretty exhausted. We played a game called "Bigger or Better." Each group started out with a paper clip and had to go door to door asking the person if they had anything to trade that was bigger or better than what we had at the time. The very first person we talked to traded their 1920 Tandem bike made in France for a paper clip. We were pretty ecstatic to say the least. And we won which is always nice. 

My lovely group of girls after church on Sunday plus the youth minister's adorable son. 

As you can tell, my life has been interesting this semester and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. But I love it! I'm definitely looking forward to Fall Break next weekend when I can go home for Seafair and relax a little big though! 

Blue is the new pink

Every once and a while, okay let's be honest, quite often, I get attached to inanimate objects. Come on guys, we all have that one t shirt that we can't get rid of that, the photo that reminds us of one specific event in our lives, or maybe even that book you read over and over again yet never gets old. One of the inanimate objects that I have a strong attachment to is my Bible. This is the Bible that is now covered in pink duct tape because it was falling apart and I didn't want to get rid of it. I had been considering getting a new Bible for a while now but just didn't want to start over. I love that my Bible has my writing and highlighting in it. I can read a certain verse, look at my notes in the margin and remember exactly what was on my heart when I wrote that note. Between the pages, you can find countless notes of encouragement from different people in my life, memorabilia from various church trips and mission trips, and multiple saved conversations on collection envelopes that were used to pass notes during church. There are bulletins stuck between the pages from the church that raised me and also from my Waco church home. I didn't want to get rid of the Bible that helped me survive middle school, high school, and half of college. This Bible has seen my tears of joy and tears of sadness. It's helped me make life altering decisions like college and plans after college. 

But today, I bought a new Bible. A Bible that will be by my side during my adventures over the next few years. A Bible that will help me survive the rest of college and all of seminary. I can't wait to fill this Bible up with my notes, highlighting, underlining. Most importantly, I can't wait to learn the things that God will teach me through this Bible. I'm looking forward to the challenges, comfort, and change of heart that will come with it. 

There were two deciding factors in this decision:

1. My Bible is a "teen version" and we all know that those can be kinda lame at times. 

2. I'm attending Seminary after I graduate from Baylor. I don't want to start Seminary with a brand new Bible, but I also don't want to start Seminary with a bright pink duct tape teen version Bible. 

So, I bit the bullet and bought a new Bible. I already knew exactly what I wanted:

1. Fairly small, but not too small

2. NIV 

3. Paperback for more flexibility

4. Words that Jesus said in red because I find it SO cool to read the exact words that Christ said

5. Somewhat cute/pretty because I'm a girl.

So I ended up with this pretty thang. 

The brown thing on the side is a magnet that keeps it closed. Super cute, right? Also, Mardel puts your name on your Bible for free! So awesome! Now I have to slowly transition from my old Bible to my new Bible. We'll see how it goes!

Update on my life:

• I stopped biting my nails
• I'm one week (2 tests) away from finishing Spanish class for the Summer
• We turned our dining room into a study room
• I get to go home this weekend
• I ordered my books today for the Fall semester and it made me super excited! #nerdalert

I'm learning

Surprisingly enough, I survived Spanish 1 so I started Spanish 2 last week. After one week of Spanish class from 8:30-12, I've learned a few things.

1. The Today Show isn't as good early in the morning as it around 9 o'clock. Last session, I woke up around 8:45, watch the Today Show while I got ready and then left around 9:45. I spent my mornings with Willie Geist and Savannah Guthrie. The hour I watched was mixed with filling me in on world news as well as telling me stories that were more light hearted. I also might have a slight crush on Willie Geist. Lets be real, I have a HUGE crush on Willie Geist. I think he's just adorable. But now, I watch the Today Show from 7-7:50 and it's just not as entertaining. Everything is so serious. PLUS I have to watch Matt Lauer instead of Willie. No me gusta. 

2. I'm not a morning person in any way, shape, or form. I need my sleep, people. Waking up at 7 am is just not working for me. You can ask Briana, I don't talk much in the morning. And I've been told that if someone wakes me up unexpectedly, I make a very mean face. A very very mean face.

3. When you wake up at 7 and have class for 3 and a half hours, it makes for a very long day. I get out of class and I feel like it should be 2 pm yet it's only noon and I still have the whole afternoon free. 

4. No me gusta espanol. 


On a side note, I'm going to Dallas Theological Seminary tomorrow to talk to an admissions counselor and take a tour of the campus. I'm slightly stressed about which seminary to go to so hopefully tomorrow will help. When I was choosing where to get my undergrad, there was never a doubt in my mind where I would end up. I always knew I was supposed to go to Baylor. But now I don't know where I'll end up. I don't know what degree I'll get. I don't know anything besides the fact that I'll go where I feel called and that it will be the right decision for me. 

I apologize for the boringness of this post. My life revolves around Spanish right now so it's not too exciting. Bear with me, yall. 

It's a fact, Jack.

Every once and awhile, I like to just post some facts about myself. If you know me really well, you probably already know the majority of these. However, some of these are little known facts. Also, don't judge me for the facts. If you love me, you love my weirdness as well.

1. Each night before I go to sleep, I look in each of the three closets in my room. I'm not sure why I even bother looking because if there were something/someone in one of them, I sure couldn't do anything about it. 

2. I really really want a tattoo, but I will never get one. 

3. I feel the need to control things. Whether it be just doing things myself, driving, or controlling a situation, I want to be the one doing it. When something is out of my control, it makes me uneasy. 

4. I'm the most well-behaved rebellious person you will ever meet. 

5. I'm really competitive.

6. I'm a "fixer." If you're talking to me about a problem, by instinct, I want to tell you exactly what you need to do to fix your problem. I realize that this is one of my not so good personality traits, so I'm working on it. Just because I think something would work, that doesn't mean it will work for you. 

7. I carry a permanent marker in my purse in case I run into someone famous. I just realized though that autographs might be outdated. Now, everyone just takes a picture. Oh well, I'll be prepared!

8. I cannot handle raw meet. Holding any type of raw meat just grosses me out. I blame it on getting a raw chicken burger at Sonic one time. When I saw raw, I mean RAW. As in, the chicken was still glossy looking. Barf.

9. I believe with all my heart that I'm called to work with families. However, I've recently discovered that I have a heart for teenage girls as well.

10. I refuse to look out the window at night. I'm terrified that one night, I'll look out the window and someone will pop their head up and look back at me. 

I hope you still want to be friends with me after learning all this. Remember, you love me. That includes loving my weirdness. 

God's Hand

Has someone ever asked you why miracles don't happen in today's world like they did in the times of the Bible? I've had people ask me that multiple times. They want to see for themselves just how God is at work. They want to see it not just read about it. Lately, it's like God's been showing off how awesome He is. And you know what? It truly is amazing. And now you get to hear about it.

1. There were tornadoes all around my brother and his friends in Oklahoma. There was a few literally down the road from him and they were headed right towards him. At the time, we had just seen how destructive those tornadoes were. The whole world saw houses ruined, innocent lives taken, lives destroyed, and now those tornadoes were headed towards my brother. Guess what. They stopped before they got to his apartment. I have no doubt that God had his hand on my brother and protected him that day.

2. Our neighbor and good friend has been battling breast cancer for some time now. It was pretty advanced when they found it and I think they said it was stage 3 (I could be wrong). We all know how awful cancer is. We all hate it. She had surgery about 2 weeks ago and got the test results back recently. 98% of the cancer was gone!!! As for the other two percent, they were nonviable. Seriously could not have asked for a better report! How awesome is that? This is one of those things that can't be explained; there's no doubt that it was God.

3. This past weekend, we had a wedding to go to in Port A. On the way back to Rockport that night, our car died on the ferry. Literally on the ferry, yall. After a big fiasco, we were finally able to be towed home by my dad's awesome and dependable BFF. I don't know if yall have ever been towed, but it's slightly terrifying. Because the battery was the issue, the power steering and power brakes were both shot. I was pretty worried about the way back, I'm not gonna lie. BUT our God is an awesome God. The whole back back, we NEVER hit a red light (slowing down can be a hassle), there was NEVER any traffic while driving or merging onto the bypass, there wasn't any traffic while crossing the bypass, and a person even drove behind us with their flashers on for awhile to make sure that we were seen. I was talking to my dad's friend that picked us up and he said that on his way to us, there was a ton of traffic and he was worried about us getting back. But then our God protected us.

It's kind of like God is showing off lately and trying to get my attention. These are just three circumstances that have been very obvious. I'm not even mentioning the things in life that people take advantage of that very obviously are miracles of God. Things like a baby being born, the fact that I'm still alive, the fact that God's grace saves mes when I screw up daily, and even the simple things like a sunset. It's nice to be reminded that God's hand is placed on my life and that he's not just chillin up there enjoying the show.

Vacation Bible School

Every summer growing up, I would look forward to Vacation Bible School. Because I was always one of "those kids" at the church, I came early with my family and was usually one of the last ones out the door. Even though I was blessed with a multitudes of things that influenced my Christian walk, I have no doubt that VBS was one of the bigger influences. Once I was old enough to work at VBS, I STILL looked forward to the week. I mean really, what is cooler than seeing 300 kids sing catchy (and slightly lame) songs about Jesus? The kid's smiles are contagious, the songs are catchy and will get stuck in your head, and rooms are decorated, and the seeds planted will last forever. 

All of that being said, the week of VBS this year makes me sad. This is the first time in 20 years that I won't be at First Baptist Church for VBS. Do the math, yall. I'm almost 21. I've been at VBS since I was 9 months old tagging along with my family. VBS is one of the highlights of the summer. And instead of being home showing kids the love of Jesus, I'm in summer school learning Spanish. 

Now, I know this is selfish. I know it's awful that VBS makes me sad this year. But I want to be there. However, I know that VBS will go on without me. And I know that really, me being there makes no difference whatsoever. So even though I'm not there physically, I'm there in prayer. I'm praying that those kids see Jesus through the workers. And I pray that those workers have enough strength(mental, physical, and spiritual) to get through the week. I pray that this week would plant seeds in the kids that will last a lifetime. Lastly, I pray that God allows me to be there next year. If not, I pray that He works on my heart so I realize that He has put me somewhere else for a reason.